Some new ideas for the automobile industry

Editor, The News:

The automobile industry is striving to make driving safer. I test drove one that puts you back into your lane to avoid an accident. Wow, it worked. It snapped me so fast I dropped my deliciously brewed hot coffee on my favorite organs.

I then read about an invisible shield between driver and passenger sides. It allows wonderful temperature setting differences and complete quiet so your wife can yell and scream while you listen to your favorite album.

Another upcoming improvement for ladies is custom seat belts. You get measurements from your gynecologist of your breast size and you present them to the dealer who fashions comfy belts that conform to your body. In an accident they tighten to your size with the least possible harm. You do have to get remeasured every three years to allow for sagging.

Have you ever been stuck in highway traffic and have to go? New car models will have sliding potties that slide back so you can go. Still embarrassed? It has odor spray of your liking, and slides shut, and it also comes with toilet paper out of the console.

Models are now made where you have to blow into a devise and will not go if there is a large amount of alcohol. Many alcoholic drinks and drugs have unique smells and the car will not start a car with these odors present. And now they can test passed gas and identify the culprit in the car. Lights go off under that person’s seat.

The new divorced car will let the wife, in the passenger seat, say she is leaving the husband and wants the house, car and more as the husband speeds up. He then announces, there is one airbag on and it is on his side!

Bruce Waldman

New Castle

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