About Gary Church ...

Gary Church is a contributing writer and columnist at The News. His blog appears on our website each Friday.

I learned at a very young age that my artistic ability is very limited.

While at West Side School, we had a substitute teacher by the name of Mrs. Plant.

She asked each kid to go to the blackboard and draw a plant, in honor of her name.

Being one of the first ones to draw, I drew a pot with one stem coming up, and one U shaped flower on the stem.

All the other kids drew gigantic flower arrangements.

My drawing looked so unspectacular, compared to the other kids.

Sixty years later, I still have no creative artistic ability.

This is not a big problem, except when my friend Jen invites me to her Halloween Bash.

Finding a costume is very difficult for me.

I did visit the Halloween Store, but there's not one thing in the store that would fit my large, muscular body.

But I had a great idea of what I could do.

Remember those fake glasses with eyebrows and a large nose?

I was going to wear those, and perhaps a wig and a hat.

No one bothered to tell me that they no longer made those glasses.

We went to seven stores, and no glasses.

There is a great manufacturing opportunity open there for someone.

I know I'd buy a pair.

I ended up wearing a tropical shirt and a hat. Some thought I might be Ernest Hemmingway or a fisherman.

Whatever they guessed, that was the correct answer.

It was amazing to me all the costumes the others found to wear.

I can't say I recognized who all they were suppose to be.

I'll admit that I'm a little behind knowing the new characters that have come out in the past 20 to 30 years.

I did recognize the men.

Don Ross made an excellent Dracula, and Phil was a SWAT team member.

Doug went as John Travolta, and Duncan went as LeBron James, although the color issue threw me a little bit.

Whoever the ladies were suppose to be, they looked very nice.

If I'm bad at being creative, my wife is 10 times worse.

She went to the party as Carol Church.

The good thing about that is, I had no trouble guessing who she was.

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