NEW CASTLE —
This is my last blog for The News.
You may ask why. Please allow me to explain.
No, it was not some internal conflict, time restraints, or lack of desire. It is simply that I bought a Powerball ticket and fully intend on winning.
The jackpot is up to an astronomical $587.5 million. Yes, that is over half a billion dollars and it will soon be mine.
The simple piece of white paper emblazoned with the Powerball logo sits beside me on my desk. This unsuspecting, yet tiny, piece of paper will instantly change my life. It's drawing my attention every few seconds. I stumble through repeated moments of brief anxiety as I lose sight of the ticket before I realize it is just under the sheet of paper I also set on the desk.
I'm dreaming about what tomorrow will be like. Waking up knowing I will have millions upon millions of dollars at my disposal. No need to set the alarm, because I have already informed my boss of my intentions. I will not be coming in at 8 or 9 or even 10. Matter of fact, you can keep my last check, 'cause I'm not coming back.
After I win I will, of course, spread my good fortune to all my friends and family. I will give them each a decent chunk of money. Enough to change their lives significantly. Let's say $100,000 for everybody should be a nice start. Then I'll pay off our house. My car, if anybody wants my car it's yours! I'll leave it in the driveway with the keys and the title. First come, first served.
Whoa, wait. Where is that ticket. ... There it is. OK, I moved the ticket closer. I almost lost it again!
With nervous anticipation, I am watching the clock. Soon the drawing will take place and make this aspiration a reality. The news is playing teasers about the drawing at 11 p.m., which are serving to increase my excitement. I can't wait to see my precious numbers pop up!
I need an envelope, or maybe a Ziploc bag, to protect this precious piece of my future. I can't let anything happen to it. What if I spill something on it or it gets ripped? I have to put this somewhere safe.
I think I'll give the church a big chunk, too. We are in a building program and could use a couple million. That would really help us and further our vision, not to mention be a great tax benefit to me.
Taxes, oh taxes. I hadn't contemplated that. But with $587.5 million, I guess I can afford to give the government its cut. I can still live comfortably and help those who need it. I'm not going to be greedy. I will share my wealth and for that, I deserve to win. I have karma on my side. I have shared my previous windfalls. Although they were substantially smaller than the now life-changing jackpot, I did wisely distribute what I had been given.
Here it comes, the balls are bouncing around in the machine. One then another and another. All five balls have been drawn and the Powerball too!
Nevermind ...
I didn’t win. Not even a consolation prize. The piece of paper I was so careful to protect is now destined for the trash can. I guess it's back to the grind. My hopes have been dashed. I have to set the alarm and somehow convince The News that I still want to continue with my blogs.
I hope they will understand my premature excitement and untimely resignation.
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About Josh Drespling: Josh is a former graphic designer at The News. His blog appears each Saturday.
Discussion
Josh Drespling: Powerball fever has me feeling a little sick
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