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October 29, 2013

Gary Church: This soldier really is shipping out in the morning — scout’s honor!

NEW CASTLE — I can't win.

Last year when I went to Jen Fazzone McNally's Halloween party, I wore a mask.

No one else did.

This year, I thought I would get with it and just wear a costume.

I put on my soldier shirt, an original WWII hat, plus my beige Dockers, and went as a soldier.

When I walked in, I thought everyone would salute me.

They didn't.

You want to know why?

They all thought I was dressed as Boy Scout!

How could this happen?

I had private stripes on my sleeves, a marksmanship pin on the pocket, and the Army cap on my head.

What's worse, when the photo appeared on Facebook, my friends also thought I had dressed as a Boy Scout.

Judy McCormick thought I looked like I should be doing a good deed or something.

No one realized I was a soldier until I told them I was shipping out to Europe in the morning, and asked for a few kisses goodbye.

There were no goodbye kisses.

Later I was asked if I would like some pudding.

Pudding is one of my favorites. I was surprised that they had some at the party.

I don't know what kind of pudding it was, but there was a fake worm coming out of it.

I ate the worm.

The top of the pudding was some kind of crumbs, which I also ate.

Then I got to the pudding part of the dessert.

It didn't take me long to realize, this isn't the Jello Pudding my wife makes at home.

Whoever heard of spiked pudding?

I didn't finish it.

The most talked about costume at the party, was what Don Ross wore.

He came as an electric plug, and his wife as a wall socket.

He looked unusual when he sat down.

My wife came as herself.

She did wear some kind of headband with cats on the antennas.

I guessed who she was right away.

Jen and her friends came as The Spice Girls.

You're right. I had no idea who they were dressed as, and still didn't know after they told me.

Shirley Temple I would have recognized.

The Spice Girls, I didn't have a clue.

They were smart, though.

None of them fell for the “I'm shipping out in the morning” line.

Next year, I'm planning on going as a big, fat 300-pound blogger.

That way, no one will have to guess what I am.

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