New Castle News

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October 12, 2013

Josh Drespling: Calling off work today? That’s sick!

NEW CASTLE — I love sick days.

No, I'm not talking about the days that you are hugging the toilet and cataloging the items you had for dinner the previous evening as they float around in there. I'm not talking about the days when your head feels like a bowling ball, or even the days when it hurts just to take a single step.

I'm not talking about the days you have to call off because you and your buddies decided that you loved the taste of Tequila a little too much.

I’m talking about the days that you have to fake a head cold, a cough, and possibly a death in the family to avoid going to work at all. Days when you wake up with the alarm at some ungodly hour and come to the realization that there is absolutely no way that you are going to make it to your respective job. You roll out of bed and have to rehearse the call to your boss. You run it through your head a few times, thinking and planning just the right words to say. You must be careful not to give out too many details, but just enough info to make the entire scenario seem plausible.

It’s time to make that dreaded call. You nervously pick up the phone and begin dialing. You hear the first ring and a second as the tension grows. Your temperature rises just a bit when you hear the voice at the other end of the line say, “Hello.”

You stutter through your explanation while anxiously wondering if your boss is going to buy your story or if he is going to catch onto your little plan. Whether he is onto you or not, he lets you off the hook and concludes with, “Hope you feel better.”

After the call is done, you can feel the weight of the world lifted off your shoulders. It almost feels like a scene from the classic movie, “Ferris Bueller's Day Off.” Your new-found freedom has afforded you the opportunity to do all the things you have been meaning to do. You can catch up on the laundry, clean the house, update your resume. You could cook an amazing dinner for the rest of the family, who are slaving away at their jobs.

Despite your good intentions, you wind up lounging on the couch, watching “The Price is Right” and “Dr. Phil” while checking Facebook over and over again.

You ask me how I know all this?

Well, because …

Gotta go!

I have an “important” phone call to make.


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