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March 18, 2014

Gary Church: I’m not Bugs Bunny, but I know my carats

NEW CASTLE — You may wonder where the inspiration for my blogs comes from.

Sometimes, I wonder that myself.

Here is a great example of how it happens.

It was Sunday afternoon, and my wife and I were sitting in our recliners, sort of relaxing.

The house was silent, when all of a sudden she blurts out, "I didn't know that!"

At first I looked around to see who she was talking to. I thought perhaps she had come up with an invisible friend or something, and I could start making plans to have her committed.

I saw no one.

Curiosity got the best of me.  I asked, "What didn't you know, dear?"

She was looking at a gold chain necklace that she had just removed from her neck. She said, "This is 14-carat gold."

Since it is unusual for my wife to wear any jewelry that didn't come from Dollar General, I asked, "Where did you get it?"

She told me that I had gotten it for her.

I replied, "You know I only buy the best for you."

I am not into jewelry so I asked, "What does 14-carat gold mean?"

She said, "It means it's better than 10 carat gold."

What a great explanation! She should be on the History Channel, just explaining stuff.

She has had that thing for 15 years, and is now just finding out that it's a half decent one?

I'll remember that, the next time I go shopping.

If it takes her 15 years to figure out how much I paid for something, at her current age, I might as well buy the cheap stuff. She won't be able to read the tag in 15 years.

I hope they make a one carat. I'll just etch a four next to it before I give it to her.

By the way, she still has not worn the scarf I got her for Valentine’s Day. Maybe 15 years from now she'll say, "I didn't know I had this."

Of course, she will probably be speaking to the other residents in the home.

 

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