New Castle News

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March 11, 2014

Gary Church: Oh, I’ve got call waiting, but it’s not what you think

NEW CASTLE — As an old dude, I have tried with all my heart to keep up with all of the new technology.

This venture will now be a thing of the past.

I am finally giving up and taking my place with the people of the stone age.

When I bought my new car, the salesman was thrilled to point out it was equipped with bluetooth.

I didn't want to look dumb, but I didn't have a clue what that was.

He explained that I can answer my phone while driving, just by pushing the bluetooth button.

There would no longer be a need to get the phone out of my pocket and try to push the right button to answer it.

My cell phone is the absolute cheapest thing, with the absolute cheapest carrier, that I could find.

If I would get two calls this month, that would be a record.

Since I never get any calls, I'm not sure what button to push to answer when I do get a call.

I just push them all. 

This usually results in my call going to voicemail. I am still trying to figure out where voicemail is.

When I showed my phone to the car salesman, after a few snickers, he said I don't have bluetooth on it.

I had to hold back my tears.

I really don't know what to make of this whole situation.

Will people start pointing at me and say, "He doesn't have bluetooth?"

I guess you could say that I'm a relic.

Should you ever call me while I'm driving, be prepared to wait until I figure out which pocket I have my phone in, so I can answer your call.

Then wait a little longer while I push all the buttons, and keep yelling "Hello, hello."

By that time, it has probably gone to voicemail, so you may have to wait until I get home to read the directions on how to find it, before I get your message.

Should I ever buy another phone, I'll be sure to ask the clerk if it comes with bluetooth.

If it does, there still may be a delay in answering the phone.

Just remember, when it rings, I'll have to pull over to the side of the road, get out my instruction book, and read the directions on how to answer it using bluetooth.

I bet I'm not the only person who doesn't understand bluetooth.

I've heard from a pretty reliable source that Alexander Graham Bell never used it either.


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