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October 30, 2012

Gary Church: I’ve tried to mask my Halloween feelings for years, but it’s time I let my inner Tinkerbell fly

NEW CASTLE — Thanks to my friend Jennifer, my wife and I actually got invited to a Halloween party.

This was so nice of her because Jen is young and beautiful, and I'm not.

She mentioned that wearing a costume is not mandatory, but it is highly suggested.

It's been about 50 years since I've been to a Halloween Party. I didn't know costumes have changed.

My wife and I went to a store in Boardman and got our masks.

She got a ghost mask, and I bought a redneck mask with hair and a red headband.

I figured they would eventually guess me, because of my masculine build, and maybe the bad knees.

For sure, I thought it might take a little longer than putting my foot in the door, but it didn't.

Right away it was, "Hi, Gary."

I looked around and noticed that we were the only couple with masks on.

In days of old, people had to guess who you were.

There were zombies, a pair of yodelers from the Alps, a blind referee, a football player, a French couple, a prisoner, and a vampire, but none wore masks.

All the costumes were very nice, but I will have to say Tinkerbell was, by far, my favorite.

She was so beautiful, and I just loved touching her wings.

I think her restraining order will be served on me later today.

But now I know what I want to be if I ever get invited to another Halloween Party.

I think I would make a perfect Tinkerbell. I look so good in green.

There might be a slight problem with me sitting down with the attached wings.

I can remedy that by taking my own stool — the chair, not the sample.

No, I won't be painting my toenails cute like she did, but outside of that, I bet I'll make a nice tinker.


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