NEW CASTLE —
How would you describe the past year of your life in one sentence?
"The past year of my life has been cathartic." That's my easy one-sentence summary. I've been waiting to say that for such a long time. And boy, does it feel good.
I'm not going to go so far as to say that I'm where I want to be, but you know what they say... life's a journey. It's hard to believe that it's been five years since my world started unravelling, and believe me, during that time it seemed to crawl at a snail's pace.
I love being able to look back objectively at the past and feel pride that I've managed to bring my children and myself relatively unscathed though circumstances that would have broken weaker people. You've been here with me through all of this... you know how I started this process with no idea of where I was going, or how I was going to make it there. You know that on day one, I was looking out over what seemed to be a black chasm, terrified that any wrong move could be the undoing of what little sanity I had left.
I'd never felt so alone or so unsure of myself. I had been a strong woman before I had my trust shattered, my family destroyed, and my own mental and physical health put to ruins. That was just a few years ago, when I started writing this blog, reaching out to form any kind of tenuous connection I could find with anyone who felt compelled to join me by reading my story.
I knew you were there, even though at first you were just a figment of my imagination. But I knew you were real when you started calling, and writing, and e-mailing. I knew when you stopped to talk to me in the bowling alley, and at the hairdressers, and at your children's birthday parties.
Some of you I've only met once, or only spoke to on the phone. Some of you I've formed life-long friendships with. Some of you were already life-long friends.
So many of you have told me how good it felt to know that you weren't alone in your struggles. And I love hearing that, even though in my heart I wish you hadn't had anything to overcome in the first place. And I listened to your stories like they were already a part of me, lapping up your words because they helped to fill the aloneness that was inside of me.
I think about you often. I hope that your year has been cathartic, too. I've hope I've been some small part of that. I wish you knew how much you helped me, and that there were words to say thank you in some really big, throw-my-arms-around-you-and-cry-tears-of-gratitude way.
I hope if your catharsis hasn't started yet, that it will soon. Believe me when I say that it will. That's the great thing about adversity. You go into it scared and alone, and if you fight long enough and hard enough, you come out the other side a warrior, with an army at your back. I never thought I'd make it through. But I did.
You will, too.
"Then as it was, then again it will be, and though the course will change sometimes, rivers always reach the sea." - Led Zeppelin
News Bloggers
Related Photos
-
-
About Lisa Madras: Lisa is the advertising dispatch at The News. She has agreed to blog about her personal pain in an effort to inspire others going through similar circumstances. She’ll share her thoughts each Monday.
Discussion
Lisa Madras: I made it to my year of catharsis, and you will, too
- News Bloggers
-
-
Gary Church: Dang! I missed out on meeting Pat Toomey — whoever that is
Sometimes I say "Yes" to something before I think about it. I received a call from The News office, wanting me to take photos of Pat Toomey's visit to the county courthouse. Very eager to do so, I said, "Yes!"
-
Mitchel Olszak: Snooping threat to the free press
In “All the President’s Men,” reporter Bob Woodward conducts late-night meetings with a source in a parking garage. That source, Deep Throat (later revealed to be high-ranking FBI official Mark Felt), was worried that he would be exposed as a tipster in the Watergate scandal.
-
Josh Drespling: Sick and tired of being sick and tired
I'm sick of being sick! It has been over a week now fighting this ungodly pestilence that has settled in my body. Despite my best efforts, this plague has taken a firm hold of every avenue of my being. It has become the most constant and present force in my life.
-
Gary Church: A REAL buffet for Father’s Day? Now that’s saying a mouthful!
My favorite thing about Mother’s Day is the buffet. I can do some real damage with a nice spread of food laid out before me. A good, homemade buffet can't be beat.
-
Tim Kolodziej: Want true gratification? Then delay it
Whether you are an athlete, an entrepreneur or a stay-at-home mom, you will be faced with dozens of temptations today. For better or for worse, your life depends on your choices.
-
Gary Church: A little trimmer is just the right fit for someone my age
There are definite signs in my life that show I'm really starting to age. I can't believe that I just bought a battery powered trimmer/edger. The gas trimmer I have now is 25 years old and very powerful.
-
Lisa Madras: I’ve still got plenty of questions, but now I have family to help answer them
What’s something new you’ve recently learned about yourself? Oh, happy day. I've been waiting my whole life to have a great answer to this question, and now that I finally do. I can hardly believe it myself.
-
Josh Drespling: Thank you, Mom. I’ve never said this before but ...
I'm a terrible son. I’ll can freely admit my shortcomings. Well, maybe not as awful as some. I've never been in prison or killed anyone (though I may have thought about it). I’ve never been a drug addict or a drunk. I remember most of the holidays, birthdays and celebrations and I'm capable of supporting myself and my family.
-
Gary Church: Gary the Governor? It’s starting to grow on me
Every day, while walking home from West Side School, I would pass the fire station on Smithfield Street. Twice a year, the fire station turned into the election place, where my parents voted.
-
Tim Kolodziej: You know, this isn't my day — and it's not yours either
“This isn’t my day.” I’m going to step out on a limb and guess you’ve heard that statement before. You may have even uttered it a time or two yourself. Maybe just this morning.
- More News Bloggers Headlines
-
