New Castle News

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May 31, 2013

Gary Church: There’s a price to pay for a new shirt — just don’t ask me what it is

NEW CASTLE — Last week, I decided it was time for me to get some new duds.

When you have a mature body such as mine, you can't shop just anywhere for clothes.

The words "Big and Tall" must appear somewhere in big, glittering lights.

Kohl’s and J.C. Penney are two places that carry my size and are affordable to a poor peasant like me.

I do have a price range that I look for.

Sometime in recent years, I must have missed something.

When did they stop putting the price you actually pay on what you want to buy?

I found a shirt I liked, but the price said $60.

I'm not Donald Trump, so I passed on purchasing it.

My wife decided to take it to the cashier to find out the actual price.

It was $30.

Why didn't they post that somewhere? There was no sale sign anyway near the shirt.

I bought the shirt and moved on to Kohl’s to see if I would have any better luck.

I can report that Kohl’s have digital signs at the end of the racks to tell you today’s shirt prices, except on the shirts I wanted.

I had to take them to the cashier to find out how much they were.

Again, the price was no way near what was marked on the tag.

Had I known the correct price, I would have bought 50 more shirts.

It will take a public accountant to figure out how much I actually paid for them.

The cashier tried to explain it to me, but the line was getting longer and longer behind me.

I just said "OK," and left.

Another thing, why aren't they putting pockets in shirts anymore?

Where do you put your pen, police scanner, cellphone, and milk money your wife gave you if there are no shirt pockets?

Does it cost that much more to add a pocket or two to a shirt?

I'm glad I don't smoke or I would have to keep my cigarettes in my back pants pocket and sit on them all day.

Maybe flat cigarettes are in style, I don't know.

So folks, if you see me and say, "Nice shirt! How much was it?" I'm afraid I'll never be able to tell you.

I'll just pay the bill and shut up.

 

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