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December 25, 2012

Gary Church: Hey, just be thankful you didn’t get a dog brush for Christmas

NEW CASTLE — As you read this, our family probably will be opening our Christmas presents.

This is quite a hilarious time in the Church household.

Several years ago, while I was addressing the “to” and “from” gift tags, I started using fictitious names in the “from” part.

As an example, I would write: To Carol, From Bill, owner of Bill's Zippers. Please remember our slogan, "When you see the big dipper, think of Bill’s Zippers."

My daughter also caught on to this, and addresses my presents that way.

My wife really tries, but she doesn't have the humorous Church blood in her like my daughter does. "To Gary, From Joe" just isn't that funny.

But sometimes they are so unfunny, I laugh.

I get my wife some nice stuff, but I can't resist wrapping up gag gifts.

Last year, I gave her a box of envelopes, a container of tooth picks, and car mats.

She uses all of them.

But the highlights of the day are the presents my grandson buys at Santa Lane at school.

Last year he got me a dog brush, which I have never used.

I can honestly say, my grandson has never visited us without brushing the dog.

When the dog sees the brush in his hands, he runs.

Since my grandson is a little sensitive about being laughed at, I almost had to leave the room when my wife opened her present.

He got her a pink flamingo pen.

But watching my wife’s reaction, you would have thought it was the diamond earrings she keeps asking for.

Enjoy this holiday with your friends and family, and have a very Merry Christmas.

Now get off the computer and go see what Santa brought.


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