New Castle News

News Bloggers

December 25, 2012

Gary Church: Hey, just be thankful you didn’t get a dog brush for Christmas

NEW CASTLE — As you read this, our family probably will be opening our Christmas presents.

This is quite a hilarious time in the Church household.

Several years ago, while I was addressing the “to” and “from” gift tags, I started using fictitious names in the “from” part.

As an example, I would write: To Carol, From Bill, owner of Bill's Zippers. Please remember our slogan, "When you see the big dipper, think of Bill’s Zippers."

My daughter also caught on to this, and addresses my presents that way.

My wife really tries, but she doesn't have the humorous Church blood in her like my daughter does. "To Gary, From Joe" just isn't that funny.

But sometimes they are so unfunny, I laugh.

I get my wife some nice stuff, but I can't resist wrapping up gag gifts.

Last year, I gave her a box of envelopes, a container of tooth picks, and car mats.

She uses all of them.

But the highlights of the day are the presents my grandson buys at Santa Lane at school.

Last year he got me a dog brush, which I have never used.

I can honestly say, my grandson has never visited us without brushing the dog.

When the dog sees the brush in his hands, he runs.

Since my grandson is a little sensitive about being laughed at, I almost had to leave the room when my wife opened her present.

He got her a pink flamingo pen.

But watching my wife’s reaction, you would have thought it was the diamond earrings she keeps asking for.

Enjoy this holiday with your friends and family, and have a very Merry Christmas.

Now get off the computer and go see what Santa brought.

 

1
Text Only | Photo Reprints
News Bloggers
House Ads
Poll

Malaysia Airlines Flight 17 fell from the sky in Donetsk, Ukraine, on Thursday, killing all 298 people aboard. Many are speculating that Russian rebels (supported by Vladimir Putin) are responsible for downing the aircraft. What do you think?

Yes. All evidence points that way.
No. Everyone is so quick to point fingers, but there's not enough evidence to support claims of Russian guilt.
I'm not sure. I'll just wait until the investigation is over to make up my mind.
What is up with these Malaysian Airlines planes? I know one airline I won't be flying any time soon...
     View Results