New Castle News

News Bloggers

April 18, 2014

Gary Church: Looks like happy trails for this old Bunny to hop

NEW CASTLE — I've just learned that my 35-year career has suddenly come to an end.

It was a little hard on me, hearing that my services were no longer needed.

I thought being the Easter Bunny and hiding eggs was a life-long occupation.

My employment started when my daughter was born in 1978, and continued until she got married.

I had a brief hiatus, until my grandson was born.

Then I picked up right where I left off, hiding the eggs in the living room.

Now they tell me my grandson Austin will be out of town on Easter, and we are not coloring eggs.

This leaves me jobless.

I figured I had a good 20 years left in me, until Austin would get married. He could then bring my great-grandchildren over to hunt for eggs.

Every year I hide them in the same place, but I still have to give out hot and cold clues.

Is there some kind of retirement home for Easter Bunnies who are no longer needed.

Mrs. Easter Bunny still seems to have kept her job.

Austin will be getting an Easter basket — but there won’t be colored eggs in it.

That's just wrong.

How I know he's getting a basket is, my wife asked me to take her to Dollar General and Jameson.

When I started down Wilmington Road toward the hospital she shouted, "Where, exactly, are you going?"

I said, "Jameson Hospital!" For all I knew, it was time for her mammogram, and she needed a ride to the hospital. I just do as I'm told.

After she got done telling me what she thought of my intelligence, she said, "Jameson’s Candy!"

How did I know which Jameson she meant? After all, Jameson and Jameson's sound a lot alike.

I told her from now on, I want the exact address of wherever she needs hauled to.

She got the candy for the basket, so Austin will be happy, plus she got my daughter some candy.

I feel I have a discrimination suit I should be able to file on this.

Perhaps this year I'll color my own eggs and hide them.

With my memory, I'll probably need the hot and cold clues to find them.

Happy Easter!

Text Only | Photo Reprints
News Bloggers
  • Potato.jpg The Couch Potato: "The Bachelorette" semi-live blog

    Here we go folks: “The Bachelorette” finale is under way and of course we’re being inundated with sweeping helicopter shots of beaches and exotic locations while Chris Harrison is telling us how dramatic this upcoming episode will be. Classic opening for “The Bachelorette,” as always.

    July 30, 2014 1 Photo

  • Huston.jpg Greg Huston: Readers (a few anyway) respond on Alvarez

    Last week I asked readers to share their thoughts on what the Pirates should do with the struggling Pedro Alvarez and we’ll get to that in a minute. For some background, Alvarez has two years left on his deal and makes a modest salary of 4.25 million this season (modest in terms of baseball salaries as paying me 4.25 million dollars for anything would be gladly accepted). His salary will likely increase the next two seasons through arbitration. 

    July 29, 2014 1 Photo

  • Church.jpg Gary Church: As you may have noticed, I'm not Lisa
    Surprise, surprise, surprise! The big cheese called me, and asked if I would mind if my blogs appeared on Monday, instead of on Tuesday. I had no problem with that.

    July 28, 2014 1 Photo

  • Drespling.jpg Josh Drespling: Time flies when you're growing up

    Where does the time go? Just a moment ago, it was Monday, and now here we sit at the opposite end of another week. Seems like a matter of seconds and this month has slipped off into oblivion. I swear I only blinked and spring had been stripped from our hands. I don't dare close my eyes for another moment’s rest or my whole life may disappear.

    July 26, 2014 1 Photo

  • Church.jpg Gary Church: Grab your sisters and your mothers, it's an ice cream 'convent'-ion
    To keep my nice figure, I like to go to Forbush's at least once a week. This is also my entertainment for the night.  We sit there for an hour or so, watching people. Last week, a group arrived that I had never seen before.

    July 25, 2014 2 Photos

  • johnnyswim.jpg Tim Kolodziej: What is your definition of The Dream?

    Johnnyswim. I know, I know. Me neither. I had no idea what that word meant until a couple of months ago, when a friend of mine on Twitter was absolutely gushing about a great concert he had just seen.

    July 24, 2014 2 Photos

  • Potato.jpg The Couch Potato: Does "House of Cards" crumble or stand?

    The old Couch Potato has been methodically working my way through the hit Netflix series, “House of Cards,” over the past few weeks and let me just say, it’s pretty good. 

    July 23, 2014 1 Photo

  • Church.jpg Gary Church: It was an uphill climb, but this driver was a real trooper

    It's always a tragedy when I have to cover a drowning for The News. I hope I never have to go to Kennedy Mills again for this purpose. It is located at the bottom of a twisty, turning hill on Frew Mill Road.

    July 22, 2014 1 Photo

  • Happy_Ending.jpg Lisa Madras: I struggle with goodbyes, so I’ll just say ‘thank you’

    After 12 amazing years at the New Castle News, it is finally time for me to say goodbye.  I walked through the doors of this building believing that I had found the place I would live out the rest of my days, content in the chaos of deadlines and bylines, inky fingers and editorials.

    July 21, 2014 2 Photos

  • Drespling.jpg Josh Drespling: When the family’s away, this bachelor will ... work?

    It was inevitable. I knew it was coming and the situation was unavoidable. Over the course of the last few weeks I have been preparing myself for this moment and it has finally come.

    July 19, 2014 1 Photo

House Ads

Do you talk to yourself when you're alone?

Yes, but I’m basically just thinking out loud.
No, that would be weird.
I don’t know. Next time I’m alone, I’ll ask.
     View Results