New Castle News

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April 24, 2012

Gary Church: Just because the Amish use cell phones doesn’t mean I need one

NEW CASTLE — People are starting to call me an antique, because I don't have a cell phone.

If I had a cell phone, I don't have a clue who I would talk to.

I doubt if I call someone once a month. So why should I get a cell phone?

It would be cheaper for me to have a pay phone installed in my driveway, for all I use it.

Somewhere in time, I've missed something.

When did all of this happen, that as soon as you get off work or out of school, you have to call someone?

What do these people say to the person they're calling?

I would guess the conversation would go something like this.

"Hello, I just got off work again. Isn't that something? I'm now going to get into my car. Guess what? I'm driving home."

They then hang up and call someone else. That conversation probably contains the following remarks.

"Hello, I thought you would want to know that I'm driving home.

Guess what! I just passed Dairy Queen. I'll call you later. Bye!"

I don't feel I have anything important to say, that I need to call someone while driving up Wilmington Road.

Lately, I have had some thoughts about getting a cell phone for business purposes.

I take photos of emergencies for the New Castle News during the evenings and on weekends.

If the story is too big, I'm suppose to call out the big guns to handle it.

This happened a few weeks ago, while I was standing in the middle of nowhere. I had to borrow a cell phone to call my boss.

Joe, the guy whom I borrowed the phone from, offered to buy me a phone.

Since we both do emergency calls, he thought maybe we could car pool or something.

I can see it now. I'm at a fire, taking life-threatening photos, and my cell phone rings.

When I answer it, the lady on the other end wants to know, "Why didn't my hydrangea bloom?"

To show you what a caveman I must be, I've noticed the Amish using cells phones.

My fellow graduate, Tom Trodden, says they make them out of oak.

I suppose one of these days I'll give in and get a one for emergencies.

It's probably odd to buy something and hope you'll never have to use it.


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