New Castle News

October 22, 2013

Gary Church: Me? Need help inside a store? Don’t ask.

Gary Church
New Castle News

NEW CASTLE — Shopping is not something I do a lot.

Whenever I do, I never ask where anything is. I like to find it all by myself.

I think it's a man thing.

The gospel trio I've been in for 40 years is putting together our pre-nursing home tour.

For this extravaganza, I had to go to Grand Book and Bible and purchase a CD to learn a new song.

When I walked in, a very nice lady asked me if I needed to find something.

To be sociable I replied, "I'm looking for a CD."

Instead of pointing to where they were, she actually walked me over to them.

Then she started pumping me with more questions.

She asked if I wanted a listening CD or background CD.

"Listening," I replied.

She wouldn't quit with the questions.

The next thing she wanted to know was, "What kind of music do you want? Worship, gospel, Gaither?"

"Gaither,” I said.

She took me to the Gaither section.

I told her I was looking for a particular song.

She asked, "What song? I'll find it for you."

That's all I could handle.

I said, "I'm a man. I never ask directions when I'm driving somewhere, or when I'm looking for something. I want to find it myself! It would be like asking a woman for driving directions, which is something I've never done."

She pleasantly smiled and walked away.

Within a minute, I found the CD I needed. With my chest proudly sticking out, I went to the register to pay for it.

I don't think she could handle the suspense anymore, so she asked me, "What song were you looking for?"

My reply was, "I Don't Want to Get Adjusted."

I could tell that she had never heard of it. She probably thought it was a song about going to a chiropractor.

She then asked me for my phone number. My usual response to that question is, with a flirting smile, "What's yours?"

Since I had been a little hard on her, I just gave her my number.

Within seconds, she was able to tell everything about me. So much for remaining an anonymous obnoxious customer.

She was very sweet, and smiled throughout the whole encounter.

Although I never ask where something is in stores, there is one store that I do succumb to being totally clueless.

If I'm trying to find a part in George’s Hardware, I welcome anyone who looks my way.

It hurts, but one time a woman helped me.

I'm just thankful none of my friends saw it.