New Castle News

February 5, 2013

Gary Church: I earned some healthy marks from nurse practitioner’s visit

Gary Church
New Castle News

NEW CASTLE — When I bought my Medicare supplement policy, I did it for one reason.

All I wanted of them was, if I break my arm and have to get a cast put on it, just pay the bill.

I did not sign up to fill out endless questionnaires and have a nurse visit me, but it happened.

A nurse practitioner showed up, and said she had some questions that she wanted me to answer.

I was doing really well with all the test questions. I didn't need a cheat sheet or anything.

I knew my birthdate and that I had my appendix and tonsils out.

Her next question was, "What medications do you take?"

My answer was, "They pay for them. Don't they keep a record?"

When I told her I took glimeperide (which I pronounced gly-mep-pir-ide), she said she had never heard of it.

She then pronounced it glim-a-peride. I educated her on the correct way to say it.

I don't think she believed me.

After passing everything with flying colors, she then wanted to check me for Alzheimer's.

This made me a little nervous. My memory isn't what it used to be.

You can try this on your spouse if you think they forget a lot of stuff.

The test seemed easy. She asked me to remember the words nickel, watch, and apples.

It was the next test that got me real concerned. She said, "Draw 10:45 on a clock.”

I did that.

After complimenting me on my nice clock drawing, she then asked me the three words again.

I actually remembered them.

I rattled off "Nickel, watch, and apples," without any hesitation.

This is something for a guy who can't remember someone’s name longer than five seconds.

It's nice to know that when I forget why I went to the store, it's not Alzheimer’s.

Of course, my wife did not agree with the test results.

I eventually found out the real reason for the visit.

Medicare pays the insurance company a set fee for almost everyone.

If someone is really ill and needs a lot of medical care, the insurance company can ask Medicare for more money.

I'm happy to say that they won't be getting any more money for me.