NEW CASTLE —
I try to eat everything I put on my plate.
My wife is the exact opposite. Her plate doesn't look much different when she's done eating, than from when she started.
This obsession has caused me a few problems in my lifetime.
My wife likes to tell about the time I was playing softball at Deshon fields for the church league.
My position was first base.
It was hot out, and we were at bat. I figured I had time for a snow cone before we took the field again.
That didn't happen.
I was only halfway done eating it, and we had to go back out onto the field.
Everyone knows you need only your left hand to play first base. This left my right hand free to hold my snow cone.
Naturally, the first hit was to the shortstop. He then threw it to me.
I held the snow cone in my teeth, and made the play.
I did spill a little bit on my shirt when I had to reach for the ball, but we got the guy out.
Her other famous story is about the time we were staying in a brand new motel in Cincinnati.
It had a second-floor breakfast area with a large picture window to look out.
Just as I got my waffle prepared exactly how I like it, the fire alarm went off.
Everyone evacuated the building and stood in the back of the motel parking lot.
My wife tried to find me in the crowd, but was unsuccessful.
Finally, she looked up at the breakfast room window, and saw me inside eating my waffle, all alone.
I couldn't leave that perfectly cooked waffle on my plate. I was going to evacuate as soon as I finished eating it.
It turned out to be a false alarm. When they all came back in, I enjoyed another waffle, just to celebrate everyone being safe.
So if we're ever in a restaurant, and you start choking, I'll be over to perform the Heimlich maneuver
As soon as I finish dessert.
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About Gary Church: Gary is a columnist and contributing writer for The News. He’ll share his thoughts on this blog each Tuesday and Friday.
Discussion
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