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December 17, 2013

Gary Church: When it comes to baked potatoes, grease is the word

NEW CASTLE — If I have heard it once, I have heard it a thousand times.

The sentence that most often comes from the lips of my wife is, "I don't know what to have for supper!"

She blames me. She says I am hard to cook for.

This is why there should be a thorough background check done on each other before you get married.

My wife's mother was 100 percent Italian.

My mother didn't even know any Italians.

Spaghetti was never served in our home, nor any ethnic food.

Because of this, my wife and I have completely different tastes in food.

For one thing, I am not a big fan of her baked potatoes.

We were having them the other night, and she asked me to try one. She said they were good.

She added that she baked them in olive oil and sea salt.

I ate one, but I really didn't enjoy it.

I just happened to mention, "The next time you have baked potatoes with steak, save me the grease from the steak for my potatoes."

As a child, I always poured pork chop grease over my baked potatoes, and they were delicious.

Off she went on a tangent, about how goofy my family ate.

Pork chops, fried chicken with milk gravy, and cornbread and beans were good eating during my childhood.

Before she could bring up how bad grease is for you, I reminded her that my mother died at the age of 97.

Her dad died at the age of 72.

My wife makes excellent spaghetti sauce, but can't make fried chicken like Mom did.

Which brings me back to my point.

Guys, when you are dating, eat as much as possible at your girlfriend’s house.

If you find that her mother is a bad cook, dump her.

You will thank me in the long run.

My problem was, although everyone said my mother-in-law was a good cook, I never ate anything there.

How did I know my wife would like weird stuff like broccoli, tuna fish, sausage, and the ruination of mankind, casseroles?

All I need is some fried chicken, fried potatoes cooked in bacon grease, and butterscotch pie and I'm happy.

No need to worry about the cholesterol thing. Lipitor takes care of that.

Now you can understand why we eat out so much.

Too bad we can't agree on a restaurant.


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