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February 17, 2014

Lisa Madras: No, I didn’t die and, yes, I still have no life

NEW CASTLE — Hello?

Is there anybody out there? (Has my life really become just one preposition off a Pink Floyd song?)

I've been gone from the blogosphere for about a month now, and anyone with a functioning brain cell knows that's literary suicide, especially when the next blog is only a mouse-click away. I'm sorry for abandoning you, my faithful friends. I had to dispose of some internal organs that were giving me grief, and that meant taking one of those FMLA medical leaves from work.

And FMLA means that in order to keep my job, I wasn't allowed to perform my job. Don't you just love legalities?

But I'm back now, although my fear is that most of my readers have moved on to greener pastures. That's OK, though, because if you're reading this, that means YOU'RE still here. And let me tell you, I missed the heck out of you while I was gone!

So do you want to hear all about my surgery? (Sure you do, that's what faithful friends are for!) Everything went well and I'm still alive.  Hallelujah! It was an interesting experience, although with the exception of the room service at the hospital, I really wouldn't want to repeat it anytime soon. Control freaks do not make good patients.

Surgery is a trippy thing, what with all the unconsciousness and people coming at you with needles and operating rooms filled with things that look like flying saucers and rainbows — not to mention the post-op drugs that make you feel like you've lost what little of your mind was left. (I spent a good hour of the evening of my surgery asking the nursing staff if they'd seen my cat, Butters, whom I couldn't find even though I swore she was just on my lap earlier.)

But enough about my mental instabilities. When I left you high and dry four weeks ago, I remember blogging that if I survived my surgery, I'd be back the next week. And as you already know, I wasn't. I'm hoping my readers didn't assume I had died. Nobody sent flowers to my house, so I'm guessing not.

I also hope nobody is disappointed that I don't have a question for you this week. I wanted to take this blogortunity just to let you know that I'm back, and that the Madras Inquisition will commence again next week. For right now, I have no real lesson to talk about. Maybe I should just say that I'm thankful for the miracles of modern medicine — and take care of your body — it's the only one you've got.

Oh, and now that you know I'm here again, tell your friends, will ya?

Thanks.

 

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