New Castle News

January 28, 2014

Gary Church: Now here’s a cool idea for a newspaper carrier

Gary Church
New Castle News

NEW CASTLE — I have been a subscriber to the New Castle News since birth.

Back in the good old days, a neighborhood kid would deliver the paper right to the door.

Over the course of time, that has changed.

We are now part of a rural route that gets the paper delivered by car, to a red box by the road.

Since The News has gone to an early morning printing, our paper is in the box by 8:30 a.m., most of the time.

Although they do their best, sometimes there are delays, and the paper is late.

My wife likes to find out who died before I do, so she gets the paper while I'm taking my morning shower.

The problem arises when the paper is not in the box.

It's then my turn to take the walk down the lonely driveway, and fetch the paper.

This brings up the big question: how do you know when the paper is there?

Who likes to look in the box and find it empty?

For all of you who have this problem, I have come up with a miracle solution.

When you were a kid, did you have any problem knowing when the ice cream truck was in the neighborhood?

Of course not. They played music or dinged a bell to announce their arrival.

When the paper is late, have the news delivery person roll down all the car windows.

They can then gently place a CD in the player, and play "Row row row your boat" real loud, so we all know they are in the neighborhood.

I would not suggest doing this if they are delivering at their regular hour of 6:30 a.m.

Who knows? If you have children, they may think that this is the ice cream man, and run outside. Just tell them to get the paper while they're out there.

If the paper delivery person wants to make a few extra bucks during the summer, they can probably sell ice cream bars while on their route.

I'll bet DuWayne Nelson, circulation manager at The News, is wondering why he never thought of this.

I suppose that's another area of The News office I'll be barred from.