NEW CASTLE —
Long before it became in vogue to have a colonoscopy, I had a sigmoidoscopy.
It's done in the same general area, except you get to be awake to enjoy it.
Preparation isn't as bad for the sigmo thing as it is for the colonoscopy.
A few morning Fleet enemas and you are ready for the show.
The description of the sigmoidoscopy says that the doctor inserts a flexible fiber-optic tube and takes a tour of your lower intestines.
I think I had mine done long before the flexible fiber-optic tube was invented.
I'm positive the doctor I went to used a two-foot long flashlight that he got out of the trunk of his car.
After a few minutes into the procedure, I realized he was no longer viewing the lower intestine. This guy went exploring clean up to my neck.
When the pain became more than I could possibly bare, everything I learned in Sunday school went completely out the window.
I yelled, "If you don't get that thing out of me, I'll kill you!"
He must have realized his life was at stake, because he did remove the telephone pole-sized flashlight.
I don't understand why the test takes so long. If you were looking up some guy’s rectum, wouldn't you want to get done as quick as possible?
A couple of "Nothing there" comments and I would be back at my desk writing out the bill.
Hospital tests are necessary, I know. I just think they should all be done while you are enjoying a nice nap.
This might keep us from being put in prison for threatening someone’s life.
I'll take a nice sonogram anytime.
News Bloggers
Related Photos
-
About Gary Church: Gary is a columnist and contributing writer for The News. He’ll share his thoughts on this blog each Tuesday and Friday.
Discussion
Gary Church: Colonoscopy-type procedure a pain in the ... neck
- News Bloggers
-
-
Josh Drespling: Sick and tired of being sick and tired
I'm sick of being sick! It has been over a week now fighting this ungodly pestilence that has settled in my body. Despite my best efforts, this plague has taken a firm hold of every avenue of my being. It has become the most constant and present force in my life.
-
Gary Church: A REAL buffet for Father’s Day? Now that’s saying a mouthful!
My favorite thing about Mother’s Day is the buffet. I can do some real damage with a nice spread of food laid out before me. A good, homemade buffet can't be beat.
-
Tim Kolodziej: Want true gratification? Then delay it
Whether you are an athlete, an entrepreneur or a stay-at-home mom, you will be faced with dozens of temptations today. For better or for worse, your life depends on your choices.
-
Gary Church: A little trimmer is just the right fit for someone my age
There are definite signs in my life that show I'm really starting to age. I can't believe that I just bought a battery powered trimmer/edger. The gas trimmer I have now is 25 years old and very powerful.
-
Lisa Madras: I’ve still got plenty of questions, but now I have family to help answer them
What’s something new you’ve recently learned about yourself? Oh, happy day. I've been waiting my whole life to have a great answer to this question, and now that I finally do. I can hardly believe it myself.
-
Josh Drespling: Thank you, Mom. I’ve never said this before but ...
I'm a terrible son. I’ll can freely admit my shortcomings. Well, maybe not as awful as some. I've never been in prison or killed anyone (though I may have thought about it). I’ve never been a drug addict or a drunk. I remember most of the holidays, birthdays and celebrations and I'm capable of supporting myself and my family.
-
Gary Church: Gary the Governor? It’s starting to grow on me
Every day, while walking home from West Side School, I would pass the fire station on Smithfield Street. Twice a year, the fire station turned into the election place, where my parents voted.
-
Tim Kolodziej: You know, this isn't my day — and it's not yours either
“This isn’t my day.” I’m going to step out on a limb and guess you’ve heard that statement before. You may have even uttered it a time or two yourself. Maybe just this morning.
-
Gary Church: A Facebook friend request and the new ‘normal’
I recently received a friend request on Facebook from a woman named Robin. I wasn’t familiar with this person. Being a little skeptical, I wrote back and wanted to know why she picked me, when she didn't know me.
-
Lisa Madras: I’m kickin’ it old school — and trying to get a leg up
What lessons did you NOT learn in the classroom? Several weeks ago, I found myself stumbling around outside of my comfort zone. I'd gone to a college campus to begin working on a new degree and new direction for my life. And boy did I feel like a square peg.
- More News Bloggers Headlines
-
