New Castle News

February 15, 2013

Gary Church: No lion, it’s potty time when my wife shares ideas

Gary Church
New Castle News

NEW CASTLE — I made the fatal mistake of telling my wife that I didn't know what to blog about.

She said I could write about her exciting adventures as a 5-year-old child at the Taccoa Falls Bible College in Georgia.

I told her I would like to keep what readers I have.

If you want a room to empty out fast, just have my wife tell her childhood stories.

Being a little desperate, I asked, "What actually happened at Taccoa Falls?"

She said she was sitting on the porch of their cottage, and a mountain lion appeared.

Her dad was loading the car at the time, and saw it.

He instructed her to get into the house, and he said a little prayer.

He clapped his hands, and the lion went away.

I was sort of hoping the story ended with Eugene taming the lion, like Daniel did in the lion's den, but no such luck.

Just a clap, and it took off.

Try to remember this trick if you are ever confronted by a mountain lion in Georgia.

Her stories about lifting up stones and seeing rattlesnakes and black widow spiders underneath them would cure anyone’s insomnia.

A cure for that would be, don't lift up stones in Georgia.

But her big story was yet to come.

Get ready for this. It has a big ending.

Since restrooms were scarce in Georgia, her parents kept a little potty in the front seat of the car, in case of emergency.

She had such an emergency.

Her mother's way of getting rid of it was to throw it out the window.

Unfortunately, the couple in the back seat had their window down.

This is exciting stuff!

I bet there are a lot of little prayers going up right now, hoping that next week I won't have to ask my wife for any blog material.

That is, if any of you are still awake.