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January 29, 2013

Gary Church: I’m gettin’ old, and I’ve got some evidence to back it up

NEW CASTLE — When old age started to set in, I figured I would notice some changes in my life.

You hear a lot about women going through the change, but not much about what happens to old guys.

Here is a short list of what has taken a turn for the worse in my life.

I can no longer handle watching TV. This causes some concerns in the home, because my wife still thinks it should be on all day.

She must not have gone through the change yet.

In order to prevent a separation, we don't turn it on until 8 p.m.

Sometimes, I do hear her click it on when I'm in the bathroom, and I leave the room when she watches “Barefoot Contessa.”

I feel I've lost my manliness. I no longer have control of the remote. (Bet you thought I meant something different, huh?)

The only programs I really enjoy are “NCIS” and Steelers football.

Ninety nine percent of shows we watch are crime dramas.

I don't watch comedies because I can't stand canned laughter.

Why do I have to listen to people laugh when I'm not laughing?

It's stupid.

The other thing that has disappeared in my life, sort of caught me off guard.

I've always loved music. I have a stereo with floor speakers, a CD player and tape deck.

Well, I used to have a CD player until my grandson found the inside to be a great parking garage for his little cars.

I never turn any of these on.

When I do get the urge to listen to the car radio, I set it on SCAN.

By some miracle, should a song come on that I enjoy, I then listen to it.

Today’s music just isn't my thing.

The words hermit and nursing home are heard frequently around the house.

I'm afraid to see what I might lose interest in next.

At least there are no worries about me losing my interest in mountain climbing.

I lost that at birth.

 

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