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September 17, 2013

Gary Church: You might think I’m an Easy Writer, but I’ve got a little help

NEW CASTLE — Writing blogs in my old age was not one of my childhood dreams.

Although some call me a writer, I prefer to use that title on those talented enough to write novels and movies.

All I do is have fun with events that happen in my life.

Last week came the highlight in my writing career.

Carol Shaw sits in front of me in church. She is a retired writing professor who taught at Westminster College.

Last Sunday, she turned around and told me that if she was grading my blogs, I would get an A+.

I usually freeze when someone tells me they teach English and read my blogs.

If Carol saw the raw copy that I turn in to my editor, she would probably give me an E-.

You see, I have a confession to make. I don't indent.

I used to indent in high school, but gave it up for Lent, and never started again.

When you read my writings, and notice all the indentations, those are done by Tim, the Indent Guy.

Do you notice all those witty headlines?

I don't do those either. That's Tim also.

It's too bad I didn't have Tim as an editor in high school. I might have received better grades.

Not following a career in writing is my fault.

I should have known the day I read my story on Pere Noel in Mr. Vinton's French class, and got an A for it, I had a talent.

He smiled through my whole presentation.

That was the only A I ever got in his class, which I eventually failed.

Then, there's the typing thing.

I can't type three letters in a row without making a mistake.

If I were using a typewriter, I would have to buy White Out by the barrel.

I have no idea what the next thing is that I'll end up getting into.

After watching “Duck Dynasty,” I feel a reality show featuring the bass section of the First Baptist Church choir might be A&E's next big comedy hit.

I sure hope they have an editor.


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