New Castle News

News Bloggers

December 11, 2012

Gary Church: When it comes to toilet paper holders, I’m on a roll

NEW CASTLE — It's been 44 years since I left my West Side neighborhood and moved to Neshannock Township.

The Neshannock home that I bought had many features the one on Bluff Street did not have.

What I was most excited about was the in-wall toilet paper holder.

At the Bluff Street address, we just set the roll of toilet paper on the back of the commode.

Sometimes, when we weren't careful, someone would knock it off into the toilet bowl.

Having a bathroom with an in-wall toilet paper holder was like moving into high society for me.

Since we are remodeling, I thought perhaps we might get a new, fancier holder.

I pictured one with farm animals on it, to class up the bathroom a little.

There were no in-wall toilet paper holders to be found.

You would think that someone would have called and told me that the in-wall holders are out of style.

Not one of you did.

There was one that I saw in a store, but it was too big.

The sales lady told me that all I needed to do was make my hole bigger.

I mentioned to her that carpentry was not my gift. If I would start cutting a larger hole, I'd probably mess it up.

You could just picture a huge hole in the front of my house, where I accidentally cut through the wall.

If I did that, I would probably have to make it look like a mail slot.

I finally got out the Brasso and cleaned up the old toilet paper holder, and it looks just fine.

Since I'm not an artist, there won't be any farm animals on it, just shiny chrome.

I'm afraid there are many people out there like me, who don't know their toilet paper holder is out of style.

When you visit a friend’s house and ask to use the john, check out what kind of toilet paper holder they have.

They will appreciate being informed if theirs is outdated.

 P.S. — I'd wait until I was done using the john before I brought up the toilet paper thing.

1
Text Only | Photo Reprints
News Bloggers
  • Drespling.jpg Josh Drespling: One man's collection of old 8-track tapes is another man's treasure

    This past weekend, my daughter and I traveled the rolling countryside of Western Pennsylvania. We visited a number of farmer’s markets, flea markets, and garage sales. We were in search of nothing in particular, but hoped for some good cucumbers and possibly a great deal on sweetcorn.

    August 2, 2014 1 Photo

  • Church.jpg Gary Church: I tried to keep my cool, but if anyone didn't like my contribution to the party, I might have a meltdown
    Sometimes you get invited to an employee only luncheon. I recently went to one of these at the News office. There is only one rule, everyone must bring something. This is a little difficult for me, because I don't know how to cook anything.
     

    August 1, 2014 1 Photo

  • Question-mark-scratch-head.jpg Tim Kolodziej: We’re swimming in information — and uncertainty

    “Who can you believe anymore?” I wish I had a nickel for every time someone has asked me that question. Let’s face it, there are no longer two sides to every story. In some cases, there are hundreds, if not thousands.
     

    July 31, 2014 2 Photos

  • Potato.jpg The Couch Potato: "The Bachelorette" semi-live blog

    Here we go folks: “The Bachelorette” finale is under way and of course we’re being inundated with sweeping helicopter shots of beaches and exotic locations while Chris Harrison is telling us how dramatic this upcoming episode will be. Classic opening for “The Bachelorette,” as always.

    July 30, 2014 1 Photo

  • Huston.jpg Greg Huston: Readers (a few anyway) respond on Alvarez

    Last week I asked readers to share their thoughts on what the Pirates should do with the struggling Pedro Alvarez and we’ll get to that in a minute. For some background, Alvarez has two years left on his deal and makes a modest salary of 4.25 million this season (modest in terms of baseball salaries as paying me 4.25 million dollars for anything would be gladly accepted). His salary will likely increase the next two seasons through arbitration. 

    July 29, 2014 1 Photo

  • Church.jpg Gary Church: As you may have noticed, I'm not Lisa
    Surprise, surprise, surprise! The big cheese called me, and asked if I would mind if my blogs appeared on Monday, instead of on Tuesday. I had no problem with that.

    July 28, 2014 1 Photo

  • Drespling.jpg Josh Drespling: Time flies when you're growing up

    Where does the time go? Just a moment ago, it was Monday, and now here we sit at the opposite end of another week. Seems like a matter of seconds and this month has slipped off into oblivion. I swear I only blinked and spring had been stripped from our hands. I don't dare close my eyes for another moment’s rest or my whole life may disappear.

    July 26, 2014 1 Photo

  • Church.jpg Gary Church: Grab your sisters and your mothers, it's an ice cream 'convent'-ion
    To keep my nice figure, I like to go to Forbush's at least once a week. This is also my entertainment for the night.  We sit there for an hour or so, watching people. Last week, a group arrived that I had never seen before.

    July 25, 2014 2 Photos

  • johnnyswim.jpg Tim Kolodziej: What is your definition of The Dream?

    Johnnyswim. I know, I know. Me neither. I had no idea what that word meant until a couple of months ago, when a friend of mine on Twitter was absolutely gushing about a great concert he had just seen.

    July 24, 2014 2 Photos

  • Potato.jpg The Couch Potato: Does "House of Cards" crumble or stand?

    The old Couch Potato has been methodically working my way through the hit Netflix series, “House of Cards,” over the past few weeks and let me just say, it’s pretty good. 

    July 23, 2014 1 Photo

House Ads
Poll

Before this weekend's release of the new Marvel film, which previous 'guardians of the galaxy' were your favorite?

The Federation/Star Fleet
The Green Lantern Corps
Jedi Knights
Earth Alliance (Babylon 5)
Space Ghost, Jan, Jace and Blip
     View Results