New Castle News

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April 10, 2012

Gary Church: My wife thinks I’m crazy; I just call it organized

NEW CASTLE — My wife keeps telling me that I am in a rut.

I keep telling her that she is unorganized.

She tells me I need a therapist.

I'll let you decide.

Each morning, seven days a week, I start my day with a bowl of Special K Protein Plus.

I always set the table the night before, making sure I use the same bowl, coffee cup, and my favorite two spoons (one for cereal, one for coffee).

My wife, on the other hand, gets up and has no idea what she is going to have. She usually has to cook something and set the table, every morning.

She uses whatever plate or bowl is on top in the cupboard. She always forgets a spoon to stir her coffee with, so she uses the knife handle.

I'm just better prepared.

We share the washing of the clothes duties. I had to take over the washing of my shirts, so they wouldn't need ironing.

My method is to put them in the washing machine on the way to the breakfast table.

I sit at the table until 5 minutes and 50 seconds has passed on the rinse cycle.

That way, when I stand up, the clothes are ready to be put into the dryer.

My wife may start a load of clothes at any given moment of the day.

She also prefers to let the clothes age some in the dryer before taking them out.

Mine are out as soon as it stops.

When I drive to church each Sunday, I have the same parking place.

When my wife drives her car, she's lucky if she parks in the same church lot.

Another thing that shows our differences is, I don't like to hunt for anything.

I have a special spot in the fridge for my milk and coffee creamer. I can find it blindfolded.

My wife sets stuff in the fridge, and who knows if we will ever see it again.

The closet is another problem we have. Since I don't like hunting for my coat, I've found the best place for it is on the door knob.

My wife doesn't care much for that. She wants to know why I don't hang my coat up.

It is hung up, on the door knob.

Our relationship has gone downhill since she retired.

We could go to counseling, but I know for sure the guy would be on my side.

By the way, I do make and pour the princess her coffee every morning, as long as her clear cup's handle is facing me. That way I can see when I fill her cup 1/8 inch over the top of the cup handle.

That's organization!


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