NEW CASTLE —
Well, she's at it again.
The name calling I have to put up with has rekindled.
Since winter is upon us, and I must wear outer garments, the verbal abuse gets worse.
My wife has been referring to me as a "slop."
This is not true, although it may look that way at first glance.
Upon pondering, I have come to realized that I dislike closets.
When I have to put a coat on to go somewhere, I don't want to stand outside a dark closet and try to pick out the correct coat.
Most of our coats are the same color, and it's hard to get the right one.
To add to that, my job as scanner duty photographer means I have to be ready in an instant, just like a fireman.
Who wants to spend valuable time looking in a closet for the coat of choice.
It's much easier, when I take my coat off, to gently toss it on the chair.
It is always in plain sight, and ready to be put on in the blink of an eye.
This is not being a slop, it is being prepared!
Then there is our ornate floor lamp issue that she complains about.
My bending over days are over.
That's why I have a pole gripper, to pick things up that fall on the floor.
This leads to the question, where do you put the gripper so you can easily reach it?
Who wants to bend over to pick up the tool that is supposed to keep you from bending over?
That is why I have chosen the floor lamp that is right beside my chair, as the perfect spot to hang it.
This floor lamp also has some decorative hooks on it, which are perfectly suited for my back scratcher to hang on.
So now the lamp has a gripper, and a back scratcher hanging from it, as an added décor.
Also during the winter, I wear a ball cap when I go on a photo shoot.
Everyone knows the best spot for a ball cap to sit on is the top of the floor lamp.
I never realized how useful this lamp was going to be when I bought it from Weingartner’s.
For some reason, my wife hides these things when she entertains.
So as you can well see, I'm not a slop, I'm just practical.
It's too bad the floor lamp won't support my coat. That way, the chair would be free, and everything I needed would be in one location.
This could very well be my next invention, a hang-all floor lamp!
NEW CASTLE —
Well, she's at it again.
- News Bloggers
Gary Church: Looks like happy trails for this old Bunny to hop
I've just learned that my 35-year career has suddenly come to an end. It was a little hard on me, hearing that my services were no longer needed. I thought being the Easter Bunny and hiding eggs was a life-long occupation.
Tim Kolodziej: ‘God’s Not Dead’ and the hope of Easter
So my wife and I went to see “God’s Not Dead” the other night. While this film certainly has its flaws, there’s also plenty to like, including a line that could give both sides of the argument a sensible starting point.
The Couch Potato: It may take some work, but just press ‘Play’
When the old Couch Potato is forced to take a long drive, there’s nothing better than plugging the iPhone into the stereo, hitting the shuffle button on the music list and seeing where the road and Apple’s processor takes you.
Gary Church: Congratulations, grandma and grandpa — it’s a ... box?
I hate it when posts on Facebook have to be explained to me. When did everything change? I have a great-nephew, and every time he says something funny, I need an interpreter to get the joke. Last week, I hit an all-time low.
Lisa Madras: My life isn’t simple — but today, it’s an open book
What is your cosmic elevator pitch? I found this question today and wanted to throw it out there for a couple of reasons. Let me start by clarifying that I'm not asking what you do for a living, or how many kids you have, or even what you might write about yourself for an online dating profile.
Josh Drespling: The quest for antifreeze and horseradish in the land of Wally World
I was on a undeniable quest for horseradish and antifreeze. My auto had taken a turn for the worse as would be expected from any General Motors product of its age. This poor girl has 150,000 miles on her tired bolts and joints.
Gary Church: No knife, no wife and an unpeeled orange
Last weekend, I attended the Master Gardeners program at the old Ben Franklin school. I'll comment on the garden tips I learned in my weekly garden column. Today, I want to talk about the lunch at the program.
Tim Kolodziej: You can’t have success without the struggle
We’ve got to do it. We’ve got to fall in love with the process. We’ve got to sell out to the practice. We’ve got to commit to the hard work and development. There’s no other way to achieve excellence.
The Couch Potato: Free premium channel brings ‘The Heat’
In our house, we very rarely watch live TV anymore, as most of what we want is recorded, ready and essentially commercial-free on the DVR.
Gary Church: Get that weak stuff outta here, Malik!
I was excited when I heard the Ne-Ca-Hi boys basketball team was going to be at the New Castle News. It never entered my mind to stand in line and get an autograph. I just wanted to pop in and say "Hi."
- More News Bloggers Headlines
- Gary Church: Looks like happy trails for this old Bunny to hop