New Castle News

News Bloggers

December 3, 2013

Gary Church: Me? A ‘slop?’ Nah, I’m just practical

NEW CASTLE — Well, she's at it again.

The name calling I have to put up with has rekindled.

Since winter is upon us, and I must wear outer garments, the verbal abuse gets worse.

My wife has been referring to me as a "slop."

This is not true, although it may look that way at first glance.

Upon pondering, I have come to realized that I dislike closets.

When I have to put a coat on to go somewhere, I don't want to stand outside a dark closet and try to pick out the correct coat.

Most of our coats are the same color, and it's hard to get the right one.

To add to that, my job as scanner duty photographer means I have to be ready in an instant, just like a fireman.

Who wants to spend valuable time looking in a closet for the coat of choice.

It's much easier, when I take my coat off, to gently toss it on the chair.

It is always in plain sight, and ready to be put on in the blink of an eye.

This is not being a slop, it is being prepared!

Then there is our ornate floor lamp issue that she complains about.

My bending over days are over.

That's why I have a pole gripper, to pick things up that fall on the floor.

This leads to the question, where do you put the gripper so you can easily reach it?

Who wants to bend over to pick up the tool that is supposed to keep you from bending over?

That is why I have chosen the floor lamp that is right beside my chair, as the perfect spot to hang it.

This floor lamp also has some decorative hooks on it, which are perfectly suited for my back scratcher to hang on.

So now the lamp has a gripper, and a back scratcher hanging from it, as an added décor.

Also during the winter, I wear a ball cap when I go on a photo shoot.

Everyone knows the best spot for a ball cap to sit on is the top of the floor lamp.

I never realized how useful this lamp was going to be when I bought it from Weingartner’s.

For some reason, my wife hides these things when she entertains.

So as you can well see, I'm not a slop, I'm just practical.

It's too bad the floor lamp won't support my coat. That way, the chair would be free, and everything I needed would be in one location.

This could very well be my next invention, a hang-all floor lamp!

 

 

 

1
Text Only | Photo Reprints
News Bloggers
  • Potato.jpg The Couch Potato: "The Bachelorette" semi-live blog

    Here we go folks: “The Bachelorette” finale is under way and of course we’re being inundated with sweeping helicopter shots of beaches and exotic locations while Chris Harrison is telling us how dramatic this upcoming episode will be. Classic opening for “The Bachelorette,” as always.

    July 30, 2014 1 Photo

  • Huston.jpg Greg Huston: Readers (a few anyway) respond on Alvarez

    Last week I asked readers to share their thoughts on what the Pirates should do with the struggling Pedro Alvarez and we’ll get to that in a minute. For some background, Alvarez has two years left on his deal and makes a modest salary of 4.25 million this season (modest in terms of baseball salaries as paying me 4.25 million dollars for anything would be gladly accepted). His salary will likely increase the next two seasons through arbitration. 

    July 29, 2014 1 Photo

  • Church.jpg Gary Church: As you may have noticed, I'm not Lisa
    Surprise, surprise, surprise! The big cheese called me, and asked if I would mind if my blogs appeared on Monday, instead of on Tuesday. I had no problem with that.

    July 28, 2014 1 Photo

  • Drespling.jpg Josh Drespling: Time flies when you're growing up

    Where does the time go? Just a moment ago, it was Monday, and now here we sit at the opposite end of another week. Seems like a matter of seconds and this month has slipped off into oblivion. I swear I only blinked and spring had been stripped from our hands. I don't dare close my eyes for another moment’s rest or my whole life may disappear.

    July 26, 2014 1 Photo

  • Church.jpg Gary Church: Grab your sisters and your mothers, it's an ice cream 'convent'-ion
    To keep my nice figure, I like to go to Forbush's at least once a week. This is also my entertainment for the night.  We sit there for an hour or so, watching people. Last week, a group arrived that I had never seen before.

    July 25, 2014 2 Photos

  • johnnyswim.jpg Tim Kolodziej: What is your definition of The Dream?

    Johnnyswim. I know, I know. Me neither. I had no idea what that word meant until a couple of months ago, when a friend of mine on Twitter was absolutely gushing about a great concert he had just seen.

    July 24, 2014 2 Photos

  • Potato.jpg The Couch Potato: Does "House of Cards" crumble or stand?

    The old Couch Potato has been methodically working my way through the hit Netflix series, “House of Cards,” over the past few weeks and let me just say, it’s pretty good. 

    July 23, 2014 1 Photo

  • Church.jpg Gary Church: It was an uphill climb, but this driver was a real trooper

    It's always a tragedy when I have to cover a drowning for The News. I hope I never have to go to Kennedy Mills again for this purpose. It is located at the bottom of a twisty, turning hill on Frew Mill Road.

    July 22, 2014 1 Photo

  • Happy_Ending.jpg Lisa Madras: I struggle with goodbyes, so I’ll just say ‘thank you’

    After 12 amazing years at the New Castle News, it is finally time for me to say goodbye.  I walked through the doors of this building believing that I had found the place I would live out the rest of my days, content in the chaos of deadlines and bylines, inky fingers and editorials.

    July 21, 2014 2 Photos

  • Drespling.jpg Josh Drespling: When the family’s away, this bachelor will ... work?

    It was inevitable. I knew it was coming and the situation was unavoidable. Over the course of the last few weeks I have been preparing myself for this moment and it has finally come.

    July 19, 2014 1 Photo

House Ads
Poll

Do you talk to yourself when you're alone?

Yes, but I’m basically just thinking out loud.
No, that would be weird.
I don’t know. Next time I’m alone, I’ll ask.
     View Results