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January 14, 2014

Gary Church: Yep, I won’t deliver your flowers anymore — but I’ll gladly accept them

NEW CASTLE — I've been delivering flowers on Mother's Day and Valentine's Day long before a lot of you were born.

My 40-year career has finally come to an end.

Since Weingartner’s will no longer sell cut flowers, there is no need for me to work those two days each year.

Did you know, when you only work two days a year, and you are no longer needed those two days, you can't collect unemployment. It's back to selling pencils.

I thought it would be nice to highlight some of the memorable events that happened to me while delivering.

Unfortunately, nothing exciting ever happened.

I never delivered to anyone famous, nor did I ever fall down the steps carrying a dozen roses.

Sometimes, when the drivers get together and tell delivery stories, someone always has one about a lady coming to the door scantily clad.

That never happened to me.

I did get a dollar tip once, but that was about the highlight of my deliveries.

What was nice about the job: everyone was happy to see you.

No one ever complained about getting flowers.

The most fun was on Valentine’s Day, when I would go into an office of women, carrying a vase of roses. They would all wait with bated breath, until you announced who the flowers were for.

After the announcement, they would all go, "AAAWWW."

Did I ever get curious and peek at the card that accompanied the bouquet?

Only if I knew the person who was getting the flowers. I wanted to see how mushy the guy was.

This always confirmed what I had always believed. I'm not the only non-romantic guy out there.

"Happy Valentines Day, From Bob,"  just doesn't give the impression you're a real Don Juan.

Here's to the end of manual labor for me.

I'm officially a desk person now.

You can send me flowers if you want to congratulate me. I would love to see the look on my wife's face when I got them.

I bet I wouldn't get an AAAWWW out of her.


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