It started out as a normal Monday morning.

I arrived at work and drank a cup of coffee as I read the daily newspaper.

I poured myself a second cup of coffee prior to logging in to my computer to check my e-mail.

I read with interest a message I received from Dawna Friend, (not her real last name) about an appliance that allows you to incinerate your toilet waste instead of flushing it.

The article told how easy the device is to install and is extremely sanitary.

That’s interesting enough, but the sentence that piqued my interest was the one claiming that this apparatus required no plumbing, no water and no drain lines.

“I don’t know if you can work this into your column, but I thought it was kind of funny,” Dawna wrote.

Oh, Dawna, if you are a regular reader of this column, you know I have about as much luck with plumbing as Roger Clemens does with controlling gossip.

Several years ago, I was in the midst of my morning routine – coffee, reading the newspaper, another coffee and reading e-mails – but on this particular day, I had too much coffee and had to go to the restroom.

As I entered, I heard an unfamiliar hissing coming from one of the stalls.

Upon closer examination, I discovered that one of the toilets was on the fritz.

Fritz, that’s German for: “If you know what’s good for you, turn around and consult a professional.”

I didn’t want to bother the head of maintenance because he, too, was into his morning routine of reading the comic page.

I took matters into my own hands. I deduced that the hissing was coming from inside the tank that holds about two gallons of water.

Lifting the porcelain lid and peeking inside, I noticed a trickle of water and an empty tank.