New Castle News
NEW CASTLE —
Not much went on in the press box yesterday, outside of swirling “Does Big Ben want to be traded?” rumors.
But no one is interested in that.
So we’ll check out the view from Section 134, Row W, Seats 5-6, where Greg and Amy (who drove up from Virginia) sat while attending their first game at Heinz Field.
Greg: It wasn’t too hard to get tickets off StubHub for this one. Not much of a demand to see a 2-6 team. But there was a lot of demand to get a weekend break from our kids.
Amy: We have kids? I had forgotten.
Greg: Seems like we were up against Buffalo fans for tickets. There are more Bills fans here than I expected.
Amy: I just want to learn what a “Bill” is. The “Buffalo Bills” is about as clever as the “Cleveland Browns.” Did Buffalo just go with the first alliteration they could think of? Are there any teams named the Georgia Gregs or Alabama Amys? No. Because that would sound silly. Like these Buffalo Bobs here.
Greg: They are named after “Buffalo” Bill Cody who was famous for killing bison in the 1800s. Let’s just watch the game. The Steelers better play better defense today. Last week was embarrassing.
Amy: Where’s that chubby guy who used waddle off the field? They miss him.
Greg: That was Casey Hampton, they miss him a lot. He clogged up the running lanes and now the Steelers are one of the worst teams in the league against the run.
Amy: Was his nickname Big Fat?
Greg: Big Snack.
Amy: Whatever. I just knew it wasn’t Big Side Salad.
Greg: You know who else they really miss? Hines Ward.
Amy: But doesn’t Antonio Brown lead the NFL in receptions?
Greg: Sure, but it is Ward’s leadership that they miss most. Brown has good hands. They haven’t been able to replace 86’s heart.
Amy: They also miss that Pouncey guy, what happened to him?
Greg: Friendly fire. But let’s not talk about that. Makes this Primanti’s sandwich turn in my stomach.
Amy: The Steelers look pretty good today.
Greg: That’s a rookie quarterback for the Bills. They always beat rookie quarterbacks under Dick LeBeau.
Amy: They also seem to lose every time Roethlisberger has a turnover.
Greg: I believe it is nine games in a row where they’ve lost when he’s coughed it up. But they look like they are going to overcome that today. You know who they don’t miss?
Amy: Huey Richardson?
Greg: No. Mike Wallace. Jerricho Cotchery’s having a better year than him. That touchdown catch makes four scores in two weeks. He has almost the exact same statistics as Wallace, except for six touchdowns to one for Wallace. They should call him Jerricho Catchery.
Amy: I’m sure his mother probably does. That new running back looks pretty good, too.
Greg: Yep, Le’Veon Bell. Should be a good one for a while. And he isn’t a bin Laden supporter, either.
Amy: Are they any teams named the Le’Veons? The Buffalo Le’Veons would be more creative than the Buffalo Bills. And I bet Le’Veon doesn’t slaughter innocent cattle.
Greg: Hey, did you notice that the defense is playing pretty well? Of course, E.J. Manuel isn’t exactly Tom Brady, but that Buffalo running game is pretty good and the Steelers stopped them. Top five in the league, I think, and the Steelers were like, 37th against the run.
Amy: Aren’t there just 32 teams in the league?
Greg: Nope, 31. I don’t count Cleveland. The 37 was a joke about how bad the run defense has been.
Amy: A bad joke. Sorta like your friend Steve’s columns. So do you think it is true, that Big Ben is unhappy being here?
Greg: If he is, I assure you, among the fans in this stadium, the feeling’s mutual. But I doubt it. He’s probably got five more years here at least. If the defense keeps playing like this, I’m sure he will be happier.
Amy: This was a nice win, are they back in it?
Greg: In what? Denial?
Amy: No, the AFC North playoff race.
Greg: Well, to be honest, they are just one game behind Baltimore and Cleveland and only two behind Cincinnati in the loss column, plus they have four games left against those teams, so yes, I think they are back in it.
Amy: Gotta win next week though. Who do they play?
Greg: Detroit and that guy from Transformers. They could really use Rod Woodson in his prime next week. But if the Steelers keep winning they could find themselves playing for first place when the Bengals come to Heinz Field in a month.
Amy: Hey, we can dream, can’t we?
For one day, the Steelers gave Greg and Amy a little hope.
Which is certainly two more slightly optimistic fans than they had a week ago.
(Steve Treu covers the Steelers for The News.)