New Castle News

The Couch Potato

April 2, 2014

The Couch Potato: This week ... I’ve got nothin’

NEW CASTLE — If there is one thing that the Couch Potato loves more than sitting around watching television and movies, it’s certainly NOT writing.

Writing takes brain power, thoughtfulness and is really just an arduous process of tediousness and self-loathing.

They say that the essence of writing is rewriting, and everybody knows that doing the same work over and over again is really just the best that life has to offer.

Side note: I rewrote that last paragraph four times and it’s still not even very funny.

Side side note: I rewrote that last sentence three times, and it’s a bit clever, I’d say.

So when things are good, that process is tolerable because you can look at the finished product and take joy in its successes, and try to skim over the faults.  

But when things aren’t good, it’s hard to get anything out that would be considered useful, because you don’t feel like you deserve to get anything out of it. If writing is the emptying of the soul, and it has to be because I think I just made up that saying and it sounds pretty good, then how do you empty what’s already gone?

I guess my point is, I don’t have much to say this week. I’m feeling down in the dumps and that means this week’s process has become torturous. I’m not saying that what I do is on par with Leo Tolstoy, but there has to be some sort of inspiration, and right now I have none.

Here’s what I mean by that:

•I was going to tell you about how I watched home movies at my parents house on Sunday for about three hours, but the column literally started like this, “In 1981, the future Couch Potato entered this world ….” Does anyone really want to see where that one was headed?

•Then I was going to tell you about the movies I watched this weekend, and how they profoundly impacted my life. The problem is, I watched “Gravity” and it was actually really uplifting, so that’s kind of working against my vibe here. My thoughts on Sandy and George are best saved for another day.

•I kind of wanted to go in a different direction at one point and write about how if I heard “Let It Go,” the song from the Disney movie “Frozen,” one more time, I might have to let my sanity go. But the French Fries like it so much, so it’s hard to get too mad about it.

So that’s all I got for you this week. I’m sure I’ll be back and better than ever by next week, but if not, I’ll fake it and pump out the Couch Potato’s version of “War and Peace” to appease my massive reading audience.

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