New Castle News

February 19, 2014

The Couch Potato: After hockey, it’s all downhill for these Olympics

The Couch Potato
New Castle News

NEW CASTLE — For as long as the old Couch Potato can remember, there have been few television events as riveting and engaging as the Olympic Games.  

There’s just something intoxicating about the big stage that only the Olympics can provide. You know that every competitor out there has worked their entire lives for this one moment and even the slightest misstep can lead to disastrous results.  

The Olympics are just the highest of stakes, and that leads to an event that should be the pinnacle of television viewing.

So why are these Winter Olympics so boring?

The Winter Olympics have always been a bit of a red-headed step-child to the Summer Games golden boy image, but these particular Winter Olympics have been stuck in the doldrums.  

There’s been virtually no excitement, there are no big names and besides a riveting hockey game between the United States and Russia, there’s been very little tension.

I’d like to think that it’s because I’m getting older that I have less interest in these games, but Mrs. Couch Potato and I can’t even get the French Fries to sit still and watch. These are the same French Fries who could not get enough of the Summer Olympics just two years ago, so something is awry.

The other night, as we were flipping through, the men’s ski jump happened to be on. Mrs. Couch Potato and I were excited to watch and we called the French Fries in from the playroom to enjoy this breathtakingly scary event.

We got the kids settled in front of the television and the first competitor readied himself on the bar across the slope. We built up the excitement for them, telling him how far the athlete would travel by comparing it to a football field. Both French Fries eagerly awaited the jump.

Finally, the Norwegian gentleman rocketed himself off the bar and began barreling down the slope track. He reached the end, took that little hop and off he went into the night sky. He landed safely farther down the hill and pumped his fists in excitement.

We looked at the French Fries and asked him what they thought of this amazing feat. They both shrugged their shoulders and ran back into the playroom to build a lego house or something.

Mrs. Couch Potato and I watched about five more jumps until I finally said, “This is pretty boring after the first one,” to which Mrs. Couch Potato could not agree more. We changed the channel and haven’t been back much since.

We did try ice skating, or maybe it was ice dancing, which seemed more suited for a reality show than the Olympics. Moguls were next, but just watching that hurt my knees. We finally gave up after cross country skiing literally made me go take a nap.

So now the Couch Potato waits the two years for the Summer Olympics to begin and finally restore some excitement.

Hopefully, the marathon won’t make me too tired to watch.

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