NEW CASTLE —
How much junk could a chic chick chuck if a chic chick could chuck junk?
I don't even want to think about saying this one "five times fast," as the old childhood challenge goes. Because frankly, my time would be better spent actually chucking some junk.
We all have it, you know. There’s lots of stuff we'd be better off without: some of our relationships, a whole lot of our material goods, and almost all of our thoughts. And, guys, don't go getting all smug just because the question is worded for the gals. You've got as much baggage as we do, so get ready for some spring cleaning of your own.
Now, I don't know about you, but I have a hard time turning the channel when an episode of "Hoarders" comes on. That is, until about 20 or 30 minutes in, when I feel compelled to run to one of my own secret stashes of junk and start shoveling things into Hefty bags.
I'm sure that this sort-of binge-purge type relationship I have with my possessions is due largely to my constant (failing) struggle to maintain control of my life. I can’t say I’m a true hoarder, at least not like the ones you see on TV. But I do have a tendency to collect some rather strange things — and then chuck them in moments of self-empowerment.
Hoarding, from the little bit I know about the subject, is generally linked to a difficulty in information processing, and a distorted belief about possessions.
I see hoarding as a broad spectrum drug. For me, it doesn’t just stop with the “things.” I hoard people, too. I also hoard thoughts, albeit mostly self-destructive ones. I believe it’s because of my fear of someday being without any of the above mentioned items.
Possessions, in my case, are the easiest to get rid of. My problem here is that I can collect almost as fast as I clear out, thus replacing one hoard of chic junk for another. I can’t seem to resist a deeply discounted item, even it’s something I know deep down inside that I’ll never use. (I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to talk myself away from beard trimmers or deep sea diving gear. And let me just assure you, I do not have a surplus of facial hair, nor do I wish to ever consort with sharks and stingrays.)
Thinking about my almost-reality-TV-worthy stash of trash, though, made me start to think about my other avenues of amassment. How many of us keep people in our lives that are about as healthy for us as that block of cheese at the back of the fridge that turned green two months ago, but that we just can’t throw out because (insert your lame excuse here)?
And why do we hold on to destructive (or at the very least, non-constructive) thought processes? “I’m too old to change … This is the way I’ve always done things … I’m not good enough … I can’t handle rejection … My family wouldn’t approve.”
Guilt. Fear. Insecurity. Any one of these three things makes a powerful motivating factor for holding onto things we shouldn’t hold on to, be it possessions, people, or thoughts.
Not a single one of them is a good enough reason to continue carrying the burdens we do.
I’m going to start small, and try to tackle a little more of the chic chick junk. Hopefully, as I learn to shuck some of the scrap, I’ll also learn how to let go of some of the other saboteurs of my life, both external and internal.
It was Lao Tzu who said, “To become learned, each day add something. To become enlightened, each day drop something.”
I hope they appreciate irony in Nirvana, because my copy of the Tao Te Ching is on its way to the Book Cellar.
But don’t worry, Lao. I’m keeping the lesson.
Lisa Madras
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About Lisa Madras: Lisa is the advertising dispatch at The News. She has agreed to blog about her personal pain in an effort to inspire others going through similar circumstances. She’ll share her thoughts each Monday.
Discussion
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