New Castle News

March 7, 2013

A news account offered on the death of liberty

New Castle News

NEW CASTLE — Editor, The News:

Dateline New York: Lady Liberty was abducted today.

Police say eyewitnesses claim that two large men, one with the word “Communism” tattooed on his left arm, the other “Socialism” tattooed on the left side of his face dragged Liberty into a red van and sped away from the scene.

Eyewitnesses say she screamed repeatedly for help but people just stood by and watched the abduction take place.

Dateline New York: After disappearing for seven months, Lady Liberty has been found. Police report that she was found today in a back alley off Fifth Avenue and rushed to a local hospital. Her body was so badly beaten and disfigured that she was barely identifiable.

Police told this reporter that she is clinging to life but is able to talk. When they found her she kept repeating the name “Progressive.” Police are asking anyone with information about this Progressive to contact them immediately.

A hospital spokesperson reports she is seven months pregnant. Social Services are advising Ms. Liberty to consider an abortion but she is refusing based on moral grounds.

Dateline New York: Lady Liberty dead. Lady Liberty died today during childbirth hospital spokesman said. Hospital obstetricians claim they did everything humanly possible but she was just too weak. Social service are unsure what to do about the baby at this time. They are considering sending the baby to one of her sisters, Life or Happiness, but they cannot be found. The suspect Progressive is still at large.

Robert J. Miller

Rose Point Road

New Castle