New Castle News

March 13, 2014

Tim Kolodziej: Maybe it’s time to start saying yes to “no”

Tim Kolodziej
New Castle News

NEW CASTLE — No.

“No!”

Nuh’uh.

“Sorry, we’re not interested at this time.”

“You’re not quite what we were looking for.”

“You’re not my type.”

Nope.

No.

Does that word scare you?

Or does it fuel you?

Pick one. We can’t have it both ways.



“Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love you.” — Jennifer Aniston



You ever been rejected?

I have.

Dozens of times. Maybe even close to a hundred.

I guess that makes me a “Reject.”

Girls? Shot down. Dumped. Jilted.

Athletic teams? Been cut more than once.

Stage, TV and movie auditions? That, too. I was told I “have a face for radio and a speaking voice for newspapers.”

It can make a guy start to wonder.

Am I that awful to be around? Is my work that mediocre? Is my talent really lacking?

Depends on who you ask, I guess. But I prefer to view my skill set as so unique that only a few people actually “get it.”

I’m guessing yours is pretty unique, too.

You’re not for everybody.

Neither am I.

So let’s embrace it. Maybe that’s just the way it’s supposed to be.



“The simple truth is that anything great always comes with great rejection.”  — Jon Acuff



Ever heard of U2? Maybe you’re among the millions who have bought one of their recordings.

On his blog last week, Acuff posted a rejection letter Bono (whose real name is Paul Hewson) received from RSO Records in 1979. (I’ve shared the image to the right.)

We should all be grateful that Bono, The Edge, Larry Mullen Jr., and Adam Clayton refused to take “No” for their final answer. If they had, the world would have been denied of some of the greatest music of our generation.

Here’s what U2 knew. And here’s what we all must learn, too:

“No” is an opinion. If you remember nothing else from this blog, please tuck that away into your pocket or purse.

“No” is not a fact. It’s an opinion. A matter of taste and style.

Just like “Impossible.”

Perhaps you’re old enough to remember when it was “impossible” to run a four-minute mile.

Perhaps you’re old enough to remember when it was “impossible” to land astronauts on the moon.

Perhaps you’re old enough to remember when it was “impossible” to watch theatrical releases in the privacy of your living room.

Perhaps you’re old enough to remember when it was “impossible” to listen to music on your camera. Or take a photo on your phone. Or capture video on your music listening device.

Perhaps you’re old enough to remember when it was “impossible” for America to elect a black president.

Something is “Impossible” only until someone does it.

And “No” is meaningless. Unless, of course, we allow it to have meaning.



“It’s hard to beat relentless.”  — Jay Bilas



So, what’s the secret to overcoming rejection? What’s the secret to hearing “No” and not stopping?

It’s so simple it’s scary: Chase rejection.

Yep, that’s it. Just chase rejection.

Mark Batterson explains the concept in his book, “In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day.”

“The cure for the fear of failure is not success. It’s failure. The cure for the fear of rejection is not acceptance. It’s rejection. You’ve got to be exposed to small quantities of what you’re afraid of. That’s how you build up immunity.”

Then Batterson hit me with a line that stopped me dead in my tracks.

“Maybe it is time to quit running and start chasing.”

Wow.

Don’t just FACE (fill in your blank). It might be time to CHASE (fill in your blank.)

Chase fear.

Chase rejection.

Chase uncomfortable.

Chase struggle.

Chase ... whatever is your greatest threat.

Chase ... whatever is your greatest dream.

The harder we go, the more relentless we pursue, the quicker we’ll catch up to it and subdue it.

Starting today. Right now. At this very moment in time.

Let’s all starting saying “yes” to hunting down “no.”

And I’ve got just the two-letter word to replace it.

Go.

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