New Castle News

Kali-Davies Anderson

August 13, 2013

Kali Davies-Anderson: Happy birthday to my husband, who — whew! — I nearly let get away

NEW CASTLE — As I write this blog, today is my husband’s birthday.

Let’s just say it is one of several consecutive 29th birthdays for Erik. (Use your imaginations there.)

I met Erik in August 2009. I rejected his suggestions of going out for a drink, more than once, a month later. On Sept. 28, 2009, we went on our first date. In October I told my mom that I was going to “let him down gently.” Somehow, that never happened and in August 2010 we were engaged.

We were married in October 2010 (yes, we planned a 300-person wedding in six weeks), found out we were expecting a child in December of the same year, bought a house in June 2011, had our first daughter in September 2011 and in April 2013 our second child was born.

To say that we moved fast is a fairly big understatement. But, I think that when you know, you just know. Prolific, huh?

I was 24 when I met my husband, but I had been “searching” for the person I was going to spend the rest of my life with for years. I was never a serial dater, but in college I got a little bit desperate. I started going on any and all dates that were suggested. Most of the time I knew it was not the right person for me in a few moments, with others it was a few days or weeks, but it always eventually became very apparent to me that it was not working.

When I met Erik, however, it was different. Part of me really liked him and the other part of me didn’t feel that we had very much in common. One half of me loved that he was somewhat childish in nature and the other half of me wondered what he would be like as a father/husband. I suppose there are always a lot of unanswered questions when you are getting to know a person, but with him I felt like there were more than usual.

I don’t know when it happened, or how, but as I cooked him dinner one night I thought to myself, “this feels right.” Not the cooking part, but the cooking for him part. The sharing our lives together part.

Fast-forward to today. It has been almost exactly four years since we first met and so much has changed.

Those home-cooked meals are fewer and farther between. We can no longer just pick up and leave for New York City for the weekend and usually our “dates night” now consist of bottle feedings, burping and an angry toddler smashing French fries with crayons. We bicker more and argue about mundane topics and know how to push each others buttons — and push we do!

Some days go by when we put the kids to bed and watch TV in silence because both of us are too tired to even speak. But, in that silence there is joy. Joy for the things that are wearing us out: our beautiful babies, our house, our day-to-day responsibilities that, while feel exhausting, are equally as rewarding.

I think maybe that is the key to a happy marriage: acceptance. Accepting change, accepting chaos, accepting the fact that Pizza Pockets taste good when you’re starving even if they aren’t what you really want for dinner, and accepting the joy that comes along with having a partner to share in the good and the bad times.

Happy birthday to my husband, my best friend and the person I will spend all of my days with. I sure am glad that I never “let you down gently,” because it seems like we make a pretty good pair.

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Kali-Davies Anderson
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