Gary Church
- Gary Church
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Gary Church: Me? A trouble-maker? My buddies should be in Sing Sing
For some reason, I was never the teacher’s pet. I can remember spending a lot of time in detention and sitting in the guidance counselor’s office. It was usually music class that brought the worst out of me.
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Gary Church: Here’s the inside scoop on our dog’s poop
I have a very important role in life. Someone has to be in charge of letting the dog out, and I seem to be the chosen one. Since I am not a dog, it is hard for me to understand the way he goes about his business.
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Gary Church: Thanks to the Blews brothers, I got my girl
Before I wrote the following answer, I asked my wife a few questions about it. Her response was, "That was 45 years ago! I don't remember. Leave me out of this." The following is my own personal recap of the blessed event.
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Gary Church: I’m a loser, all right, but my calories don’t count
Why, all of a sudden, is everyone posting recipes on Facebook? Not only are they posting recipes, they are showing photos of the very tempting finished product. None of the recipes seem to be for oatmeal or porridge.
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Gary Church: How should I know my cell number? I’ve never called myself!
I'm starting to see signs that my memory isn't what it use to be. I have no trouble remembering the phone number we had back in the 1940s. It was 2075R, but was later replaced with Oliver 20355.
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Gary Church: A phone prank for this old crank? Uh, don’t call us, we’ll call you
I received a phone call a few weeks ago that kind of startled me. It was from a very irate man. Sounding very upset he asked, "Are you the person that hit my car?"
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Gary Church: I am NOT a hoarder — I’m just a really good planner!
Don't you hate it when you lose your tan dress shirt? I'd looked everywhere, three different times, and never found it. Big shot decided she would try looking for it, and found it on the back of my door, right where I hung it.
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Gary Church: Forget ‘Duck Dynasty,’ ‘The Mole Hunter’ is my guy
My wife is going to the Barry Manilow concert in Pittsburgh. I'm not. Our ideas of entertainment just aren't the same.
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Gary Church: Despite an evil cookie plot, I’m Mega Stuffed today — and it feels great!
Did you ever get the feeling that someone is trying to get rid of you? I've felt that way recently, and I think I know who it is. It's Mr. Nabisco, along with an accomplice. Here's the scoop.
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Gary Church: During failed home repair, a light bulb went off — I’d been hosed
There are a lot of men out there who are gifted in home repair. I'm not one of them. I can change light bulbs, but anything past that, I call a service technician.
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