- Gary Church
Gary Church: I can see clearly now — I don’t do windows
If you want to spend an afternoon of pure misery, invite a window salesman over. I have fought off window telemarketers for years. Vivian was different. I liked her.
Gary Church: Eddie Pagley’s legs, Larry Kelly’s mouth and a little Ben Gay
There are two jobs at The News I would not take if they were offered to me. One would be a war correspondent. I might get kidnapped or something. The other job I'm not cut out for is a sports writer.
Gary Church: Hope I’m not in a stew over this chili thing
Sometimes, I think my wife tries to con me, especially when it comes to supper. When I'm asked what I want for supper, I always say fried chicken with mashed potatoes and gravy.
Gary Church: When it comes to these new-fangled video games, I just can’t win
I'm finding out more and more that I am out of touch with today's youth. Back when I was a kid, we had this game called checkers.
Gary Church: I’m a ‘big man,’ but I’m confused by small changes
I don't understand why companies keep changing the looks of their products. This is very confusing to my wife, who shops for the things I use, by the color of the bottle.
Gary Church: ‘Hot Cross Buns’ and a concert worth recording
For those that may not realize it, I like a little culture once in a while. Just last week, I took my wife to a concert. We knew one of the guys in the band, and he really wanted us to attend.
Gary Church: How should I answer my wife? Don’t ask!
I have never liked pop quizzes. There might have been times in my marriage when my wife has asked me a question — and I may not have responded with the most tactful answer. That has changed.
Gary Church: Need a hug? Be sure it’s not a moment of truth
In days of old, I always bought something new and fashionable to wear for Easter. I no longer participate in this custom.
Gary Church: So, where WAS I dumping our sewage?
If it takes using a tool to make home repairs, I tend to shy away from it. I didn't do well in wood shop, nor mechanical engineering class.
Gary Church: Looks like happy trails for this old Bunny to hop
I've just learned that my 35-year career has suddenly come to an end. It was a little hard on me, hearing that my services were no longer needed. I thought being the Easter Bunny and hiding eggs was a life-long occupation.
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- Gary Church: I can see clearly now — I don’t do windows