New Castle News

Gary Church

December 7, 2012

Gary Church: What can Brown do for you? Ruin your Christmas, that’s what!

NEW CASTLE — I usually appreciate all my Christmas presents, no matter how useless they are.

There was one present I got as a little boy that I really, really didn't want.

Everyone knows that kids are supposed to get toys for Christmas. Everyone knew this except my older sister Lealia.

I must confess that as a child, sometimes I would venture into everyone’s closets to see what they got me for Christmas.

On one of these occasions, I spotted a box that hadn't been wrapped yet.

I peeked inside, and there they were.

My sister had gotten me a pair of brown pants.

Who would give a sweet little boy like me a pair of brown pants for Christmas?

I wanted toys. Lots and lots of toys.

Brother Bill got me a wagon and Dad bought me a scooter. Those were more in line with what I wanted.

Brown pants were not in that line.

When I opened the gift, I may have not said the kindest of remarks toward my sister.

From that day forward, I never got brown pants again for Christmas.

Sixty five years later and I still don't own a pair of brown pants.

There goes my chance to work for UPS.

Just to prove kids haven't changed much, I made a shopping list of what I might get my daughter and grandson.

Just to agitate him, the only thing I wrote down on my grandson's list was socks.

I noticed after he had gone home, the word socks was mysteriously scratched out. I have no idea who would have done such a thing.

Perhaps a few alternate dates to give kids clothes would be Jan. 19 or June 27.

Take it from someone who has been scarred for life.

Brown pants for Christmas is a definite no-no.

If you don't believe me, wrap up a pair.

See how quickly he shoves them aside so he can unwrap the next gift.

As long as it isn’t socks.


Text Only | Photo Reprints
Gary Church
House Ads

Would you want to know what your pet is thinking about you?

Yes! I'd love to know what my pet is thinking.
Nah, it's probably not that interesting.
I don't know. I'm afraid of what I might find out.
     View Results