NEW CASTLE —
I can't win.
Last year when I went to Jen Fazzone McNally's Halloween party, I wore a mask.
No one else did.
This year, I thought I would get with it and just wear a costume.
I put on my soldier shirt, an original WWII hat, plus my beige Dockers, and went as a soldier.
When I walked in, I thought everyone would salute me.
You want to know why?
They all thought I was dressed as Boy Scout!
How could this happen?
I had private stripes on my sleeves, a marksmanship pin on the pocket, and the Army cap on my head.
What's worse, when the photo appeared on Facebook, my friends also thought I had dressed as a Boy Scout.
Judy McCormick thought I looked like I should be doing a good deed or something.
No one realized I was a soldier until I told them I was shipping out to Europe in the morning, and asked for a few kisses goodbye.
There were no goodbye kisses.
Later I was asked if I would like some pudding.
Pudding is one of my favorites. I was surprised that they had some at the party.
I don't know what kind of pudding it was, but there was a fake worm coming out of it.
I ate the worm.
The top of the pudding was some kind of crumbs, which I also ate.
Then I got to the pudding part of the dessert.
It didn't take me long to realize, this isn't the Jello Pudding my wife makes at home.
Whoever heard of spiked pudding?
I didn't finish it.
The most talked about costume at the party, was what Don Ross wore.
He came as an electric plug, and his wife as a wall socket.
He looked unusual when he sat down.
My wife came as herself.
She did wear some kind of headband with cats on the antennas.
I guessed who she was right away.
Jen and her friends came as The Spice Girls.
You're right. I had no idea who they were dressed as, and still didn't know after they told me.
Shirley Temple I would have recognized.
The Spice Girls, I didn't have a clue.
They were smart, though.
None of them fell for the “I'm shipping out in the morning” line.
Next year, I'm planning on going as a big, fat 300-pound blogger.
That way, no one will have to guess what I am.
NEW CASTLE —
I can't win.
- Gary Church
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- Gary Church: I tried to keep my cool, but if anyone didn't like my contribution to the party, I might have a meltdown