New Castle News

Gary Church

February 19, 2013

Gary Church: Useless information? Yep, I’m full of it

NEW CASTLE — I have always been a big fan of Yahoo chocolate pop.

When the neighborhood gang would hang out at DePaolo's on High Street, I would always get a bottle of Yahoo from the pop machine.

The other kids would make fun of me, because the bottle was so small, compared to their giant bottle of RC Cola.

When I had to choose a homepage on the Internet, Yahoo was a natural for me.

If you haven't seen a Yahoo homepage lately, they have a news feed that tries its best to get you to click on an article.

They like to use tabloid headlines to get your attention.

One title I noticed was, "Rihanna without makeup."

I didn't click on it.

First, I don't know who Rihanna is.

Second, I think I would rather see her with her makeup.

Some of the headlines do get my attention though.

After I read them, I like to share the information that I learned with my wife.

She just doesn't seem to believe a thing I tell her, even though I mention I got it off the Internet.

The one article, about the risk of getting sugar being 33 percent higher after drinking diet pop, really made her think I was nuts.

How am I ever going to tell her that the hand sanitizer she uses won't protect her from the flu?

I am now full of information that no one wants to hear.

When Yahoo Internet connection was first introduced to the world, I had a friend who was a pop salesman.

He was not into computers, but did dabble in the stock market a little.

He kept telling me how well Yahoo pop was doing in the stock market.

I think some of the younger guys at the pop plant set him straight.

You can Google or Ixquick, but I'll continue to stick with my Yahoo.

How else will I know if the giant asteroid is going to hit Pennsylvania?

 

 

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It’s been a unique week on the marriage front. Actress Jodie Foster married her longtime girlfriend, while a lesbian trio that wed last year, who bill themselves as a “throuple,” have announced they are expecting. What’s your take on alternative unions?

I’m against it. I believe in one man, one woman.
I’m OK with it. As long as they’re adults, they can marry whoever they want.
A lesbian “throuple?” Really? SMH.
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