New Castle News

Gary Church

May 6, 2014

Gary Church: I’m a ‘big man,’ but I’m confused by small changes

NEW CASTLE — I don't understand why companies keep changing the looks of their products.

This is very confusing to my wife, who shops for the things I use, by the color of the bottle.

When they say, "New look, same great product," why did they change the look in the first place.

Did they decide the bottle the guy in design came up with two years ago is ugly?

You can probably tell that I did not major in marketing.

Truth is, I wasn't even a drum major in high school. I'm major-less.

But if I start using your product, and I like it, I will continue to use it for the rest of my life.

I will be buried wearing Jockey underwear and Gold Toe socks.

So why do they have to change the look, and confuse my wife when she shops.

Then they come out with a larger bottle of shaving gel that says "20 percent more free."

If I needed shaving gel, I would get it even if it said "20 percent less."

So what is the reason behind giving me more out of the clear blue sky?

It's nice of them to do it, but I don't think it is needed to sell shaving gel.

Things have gotten so technical, you have to read the fine print, to make sure you get the same tooth paste you have always been using.

My wife made that mistake, and had to go back and buy another tube. Who needs to fight cavities if your teeth aren't the original ones you started out with?

Ladies, if you get embarrassed easily, perhaps you should stop reading now.  This is for men only.

Guys, since I am a tall person, when I buy my undershorts, I would get the tall man's size.

Naturally, Jockey quit making it, but the sales lady told me they have a "big man's" size.

That is what I bought.

She didn't explain what part of the underwear was made bigger.

I found out, it's the leg opening that is huge.

My belly is huge, not my legs.

This becomes an embarrassing problem when you go to bed at night.

Trust me, stick with the regular size.

That should keep your name out of the police reports.


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Gary Church
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I don't know. I'm not a huge fan of Obama, but the suit seems a little extreme.
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