New Castle News

Gary Church

April 11, 2014

Gary Church: No knife, no wife and an unpeeled orange

NEW CASTLE — Last weekend, I attended the Master Gardeners program at the old Ben Franklin school.

I'll comment on the garden tips I learned in my weekly garden column.

Today, I want to talk about the lunch at the program.

It's a great pre-packaged lunch that does not leave you hungry.

When I opened my Styrofoam container, it contained a large ham sandwich with lettuce and tomato, a bag of potato chips, two chocolate chip cookies, and an orange.

I ate everything, and saved the orange for last.

That's when my problem started.

I've never in my life been left all alone with an unpeeled orange.

Thoughts were going through my head on what's the secret to peeling this thing. I didn't want to look stupid doing it.

Had I had my computer with me, I could have looked it up.

Whenever we eat oranges at home, they are given to me by my wife, after she has peeled and sliced them.

Here I was, in the middle of Ben Franklin auditorium, with no knife, and no wife.

I looked around to see what others were doing, but most of them had apples.

An apple I could handle, but not an orange.

Penn State home economist Janet Hasson was there, so I went looking for her for some expert instructions.

She, like Elvis, had just left the building.

A very nice lady, Cindy Cusick, came in and sat with me, so I asked her, "How do I peel this?"

She thought I was kidding, but I wasn't.

Cindy demonstrated the peeling process by poking a hole in her orange with her finger nail, and began peeling it.

I said "eeww, what about the membrane stuff?"

She then jabbed her finger down the center of the orange and began removing slices.

Nice Cindy informed me that she had just washed her hands, should I want to taste her orange.

I took her up on it.

It was good, membrane and all.

Feeling like I had led a sheltered life, and never having been taught the fine art of orange peeling, I went home, with my orange still intact.

When I explained the incident to my wife, I expected her to start calling me some kind of idiot.

To my amazement, she said that she wouldn't know how to peel an orange without a knife either.

Thanks to the Master Gardeners program, and Cindy Cusick, if we ever get stranded on an island filled with orange trees, I will be able to survive.

I guess my wife will just starve.


Text Only | Photo Reprints
Gary Church
House Ads

On Wednesday, the House of Representatives voted to authorize Speaker John Boehner to sue President Obama for allegedly overstepping his legal authority with the way he's handled Obamacare. Good call?

Yes. Obama's been overstepping his authority since day one in office. It's time he pay the piper.
No. The allegations are ridiculous and the law suit is a waste of time and tax payer money.
I don't know. I'm not a huge fan of Obama, but the suit seems a little extreme.
     View Results