NEW CASTLE —
Charlie Rich had a hit tune called, "Behind Closed Doors." One line in the song says, "Oh, no one knows what goes on behind closed doors."
I found this line to be very true last week.
As is my morning tradition, I went into the bathroom, wet my face, covered it with shaving gel, and then tried to pick up my razor.
It wasn't there.
I went into a panic. I thought for sure we were robbed and the thieves made off with my Shick Quatro.
My comb was there, my shaving gel was there, my toothbrush was there, but no razor.
It started to occur to me, no one else had been in the bathroom but my other half.
When I looked around, I spotted it. It was on the shower surround.
I don't shave in the shower.
Could it be that the woman I trust most, behind closed doors, used my personal razor to shave something?
After 10 minutes of the water torture thingy they do on terrorists, she confessed.
I went on a rampage on how I change razor blades on the first of every month. I have it figured that I get 31 shaves out of one blade.
My wife messed up my whole razor blade schedule.
All she said was, "I'll buy you new blades."
What I really need is a bank vault for my bathroom stuff.
Charlie Rich was right. No one knows what goes on behind closed doors.
Gary Church
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About Gary Church: Gary is a columnist and contributing writer for The News. He’ll share his thoughts on this blog each Tuesday and Friday.
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