New Castle News

Gary Church

August 23, 2013

Gary Church: Is it really a sandwich without the bun?

NEW CASTLE — My wife decided to go on a three-day vacation. She took my daughter and grandson to Erie.

I was left home to survive all alone.

This had some great advantages.

Not once did I have to shut the bathroom door.

Except for a few occasions, the toilet seat was always up, awaiting my arrival.

I got to read the newspaper without having to share it with anyone.

Being a man, I am not a big fan of a neat bed. I made sure I kept it in a deplorable condition, just like in my bachelor days.

Life was good, except for one tiny exception — my food supply.

My wife has all the loot and is in charge of all meals, plus purchasing the groceries.

For my three-day survival, she left me with three cinnamon raisin muffins, a half of a pound of chipped ham, and some cereal.

This kept me alive during the day, but in the evening I made my way out to the Lawrence County Fair, where there might have been a few food choices available.

You know the saying, "When the cat's away, the mice will play?"

I decided to go a little wild and have my first sausage sandwich ever.

You must understand, I don't do vegetables.

Onions, peppers, celery, carrots, or broccoli have never passed my lips.

I ordered a piece of sausage from the Tastee Tailgator, without a bun or pepper and onions.

I just ordered a piece of meat with tomato sauce on it.

It was a great tasting sandwich, although some of my friends say I didn't really have a sausage sandwich.

I feel I just started out small. Maybe next year I'll add the bun.

I don't feel there's a future of me trying it with peppers and onions though.

You guys can have mine.


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Gary Church
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