New Castle News

Gary Church

August 21, 2012

Gary Church: Pants on the ground, pants on the ground ... lookin’ like a fool with my pants on the ground

NEW CASTLE — Sometimes I can be a little behind in what's happening around the world.

If it isn't in the New Castle News or headlines on my Yahoo page, I have no idea what is going on.

Since I am on scanner duty a lot for The News, I do know what is going on with the police and fire calls in town.

Just recently, the police were called to Mr. Pizza's parking lot, because a man was walking around with his pants down.

Thankfully, he was gone when the police arrived and I wasn't called to takes photos.

When I posted this on Facebook, cousin Barb asked if it was Randy Travis.

I didn't have a clue what she was talking about, but I soon found out.

To put you all at ease, I can't think of any condition I would be in, that I would go into a store naked, and order two packs of cigarettes.

I don't smoke.

I will have to plead guilty about the pants down thing, though.

While carrying a very heavy TV set to the garage, all of a sudden I felt very cool from my waist down.

There was no way I could let go of the TV and pull up my pants, so I had to continue on, with my pants on the ground.

As far as I know, no neighbor spotted the blessed event, but my wife did.

Let's just say she got very amused and made a mad dash for the bathroom.

I'm not sure if she made it or not.

No one ever thinks about the poor guy trying to carry a heavy TV, and can only take baby steps.

After a long trek, I finally made it to the garage, but there might have been some gravel in my pants.

To ensure the neighbors’ safety from seeing this happening again, I no longer carry anything that weighs over two pounds.

So, how much do you think a 'Mr. Pizza' pizza might weigh?

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Gary Church
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Beginning tonight, the Pittsburgh Penguins will take on the Columbus Blue Jackets in the first round of the NHL playoffs. So, who ya got? And in how many games?

Penguins, in five games or fewer. Too much firepower for the Blue Jackets, especially if Evgeni Malkin is ready to go.
Penguins, in six or seven games. It’s a pretty even matchup on defense, but Pittsburgh will grind it out.
Blue Jackets, in five games or fewer. Sergei Bobrovsky in goal for the Blue Jackets spells trouble for the Pens.
Blue Jackets, in six or seven games. Bobrovsky gives Columbus the edge, but it won’t be easy.
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