New Castle News

October 18, 2013

Gary Church: What’s in YOUR wallet? Aw, I better purse my lips

Gary Church
New Castle News

NEW CASTLE — The older I get, the less I know about women.

My lovely bride and I decided to go to Sharon for lunch and a little shopping.

As we were approaching Mitchell Road, she got all panicky and said we had to go back home.

I thought maybe she had to use the toilet or something.

She said, "I left my credit cards in my other purse!"

She then went on to explain that she was changing her summer purse to her winter purse.

While doing this, she had left her wallet in the summer purse.

As long as I have been married, I never knew she had summer and winter purses. I was afraid to ask about spring and fall ones.

I don't have a summer wallet and a winter wallet.

After thinking about it, it must be a multi-season wallet. I wasn't aware of that when I got it.

What are the distinctions between a winter and a summer purse?

Is the winter purse warmer than the summer one? Does it have fur around it?

Is it flannel?

If I had to pick the summer purse from a winter purse in a lineup, I'd fail.

I understand there is a difference in summer and winter shoes.

When it is snowing, I don't expect to see a woman wearing flip-flops.

I just can't see the difference in seasonal purses.

A man can travel from here to Austin, Texas, with a wallet and his car keys.

A female can't go outside the house without her purse.

One man, who will remain anonymous because he doesn't want to be put in the witness protection program says, "I have no idea why my wife carries a purse. She can't find a thing in it!"

From what I see, I think it is just a place to store used tissue.

I guess I'll have to start paying closer attention to see what else she has that’s seasonal.

On the other hand, maybe it's best I just forget about it.

I don't want to be put in the witness protection program either.