New Castle News

Gary Church

March 4, 2014

Gary Church: Hey, do they serve fries with that burrito?

NEW CASTLE — I come from a long line of fussy eaters. My mother may have been the queen.

When she made biscuits, she would spoon the center out, and eat only the outside of the biscuit.

For her coffee, the cup would be half full. She filled the rest with half and half.

She is the only person I know who could tell the difference between ultra pasteurized cream, and pasteurized cream.

I remember when cousin Barry came to town, we took him to Coney Island for a hot dog.

He wouldn't eat it because it had a burn line on it.

You can see, any of my strange eating habits are inherited.

I'm not a big fan of Mexican food, but I do enjoy dining with friends at El Canelo.

I didn't know it was a huge breach of social etiquette to order a hamburger and fries there.

After fearing for my life if I ordered that, I found some kind of deep fried chicken on the menu, which I ordered.

I did manage to sneak in a side of fries with that, without taking too much hassle.

Is there an accepted way in the order you eat your food?

I like to eat one thing at a time, and then go on to what's next on my plate.

That's when the question came up, "Why did you eat your French fries first?"

It's very simple to me. I like them hot, and if you start eating all that other stuff, by the time you get to your fries, they are cold.

I do the same thing at McDonald’s.

This is probably why most of the time my wife and I dine alone. She realizes I'm strange.

She understands I'm set in my ways, and I am not going to try eating new stuff.

She knows if my hot dog does not have several burn lines on it, I won't eat it.

One little pink piece of meat in my hamburger, and it goes into the garbage.

I guess I should start eating alone in one of those photo booths, so people don't notice my odd ways.

But on the other hand, every time I've eaten at El Canelo, I've had the best time of my life.

I just wish they served burgers, fries, and milk shakes, and perhaps some butterscotch cream pie.


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Gary Church
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