NEW CASTLE —
Shopping is not something I do a lot.
Whenever I do, I never ask where anything is. I like to find it all by myself.
I think it's a man thing.
The gospel trio I've been in for 40 years is putting together our pre-nursing home tour.
For this extravaganza, I had to go to Grand Book and Bible and purchase a CD to learn a new song.
When I walked in, a very nice lady asked me if I needed to find something.
To be sociable I replied, "I'm looking for a CD."
Instead of pointing to where they were, she actually walked me over to them.
Then she started pumping me with more questions.
She asked if I wanted a listening CD or background CD.
"Listening," I replied.
She wouldn't quit with the questions.
The next thing she wanted to know was, "What kind of music do you want? Worship, gospel, Gaither?"
"Gaither,” I said.
She took me to the Gaither section.
I told her I was looking for a particular song.
She asked, "What song? I'll find it for you."
That's all I could handle.
I said, "I'm a man. I never ask directions when I'm driving somewhere, or when I'm looking for something. I want to find it myself! It would be like asking a woman for driving directions, which is something I've never done."
She pleasantly smiled and walked away.
Within a minute, I found the CD I needed. With my chest proudly sticking out, I went to the register to pay for it.
I don't think she could handle the suspense anymore, so she asked me, "What song were you looking for?"
My reply was, "I Don't Want to Get Adjusted."
I could tell that she had never heard of it. She probably thought it was a song about going to a chiropractor.
She then asked me for my phone number. My usual response to that question is, with a flirting smile, "What's yours?"
Since I had been a little hard on her, I just gave her my number.
Within seconds, she was able to tell everything about me. So much for remaining an anonymous obnoxious customer.
She was very sweet, and smiled throughout the whole encounter.
Although I never ask where something is in stores, there is one store that I do succumb to being totally clueless.
If I'm trying to find a part in George’s Hardware, I welcome anyone who looks my way.
It hurts, but one time a woman helped me.
I'm just thankful none of my friends saw it.
NEW CASTLE —
Shopping is not something I do a lot.
- Gary Church
Gary Church: As you may have noticed, I'm not Lisa
Surprise, surprise, surprise! The big cheese called me, and asked if I would mind if my blogs appeared on Monday, instead of on Tuesday. I had no problem with that.
Gary Church: Grab your sisters and your mothers, it's an ice cream 'convent'-ion
To keep my nice figure, I like to go to Forbush's at least once a week. This is also my entertainment for the night. We sit there for an hour or so, watching people. Last week, a group arrived that I had never seen before.
Gary Church: It was an uphill climb, but this driver was a real trooper
It's always a tragedy when I have to cover a drowning for The News. I hope I never have to go to Kennedy Mills again for this purpose. It is located at the bottom of a twisty, turning hill on Frew Mill Road.
Gary Church: Geez, whatever happened to privacy in the men’s room?
I never know when a blog moment may happen. This recent blog moment occurred during the Rockin’ the River concert at the Cascade Riverplex.
Gary Church: Despite my appearance, I’m the ultimate wingman
There's no doubt that as a child, I was way ahead of my time. When Mom made fried chicken, I would always ask, "I want the two legs sticking up."
Gary Church: Better XYZ — and make it PDQ — or you might get tagged
I was sitting in church on Sunday when Rita and Tom came in and sat a few rows ahead of me.
Rita is perfect. She walks perfect, talks perfect, sings perfect, smiles perfect, her hair is always perfect, and she dresses perfect.
Gary Church: There will be crying at my funeral — but it’s not what you think
I was one of the 7,000 people who attended the River City Brass concert on July 3 at Westminster College. One of the songs that I especially liked was "Shenandoah," which was beautifully sung by the Rev. Nathan Louden.
Gary Church: Want me to be happy? Well, paper towels aren’t exactly a quicker picker upper
I've always had a problem with accepting change. So when a company changes something about its product, it drives me nuts. My latest rampage is the select-a-size paper towels. I hate them.
Whew! That was a close shave for the poor little bird!
The first thing I do every morning, after performing some bodily functions, is shave. Last week during my shaving time, I heard the sound of pots and pans tumbling to the floor.
Gary Church: Boy, the Ladies Room looked an awful lot like ... aw, nevermind
We were invited last week to a beautiful wedding in Pittsburgh. My old neighbor Mike's lovely daughter, Chrishele, got married in a church on top of Mt. Washington, which overlooks Pittsburgh.
- More Gary Church Headlines
- Gary Church: As you may have noticed, I'm not Lisa