NEW CASTLE —
Shopping is not something I do a lot.
Whenever I do, I never ask where anything is. I like to find it all by myself.
I think it's a man thing.
The gospel trio I've been in for 40 years is putting together our pre-nursing home tour.
For this extravaganza, I had to go to Grand Book and Bible and purchase a CD to learn a new song.
When I walked in, a very nice lady asked me if I needed to find something.
To be sociable I replied, "I'm looking for a CD."
Instead of pointing to where they were, she actually walked me over to them.
Then she started pumping me with more questions.
She asked if I wanted a listening CD or background CD.
"Listening," I replied.
She wouldn't quit with the questions.
The next thing she wanted to know was, "What kind of music do you want? Worship, gospel, Gaither?"
"Gaither,” I said.
She took me to the Gaither section.
I told her I was looking for a particular song.
She asked, "What song? I'll find it for you."
That's all I could handle.
I said, "I'm a man. I never ask directions when I'm driving somewhere, or when I'm looking for something. I want to find it myself! It would be like asking a woman for driving directions, which is something I've never done."
She pleasantly smiled and walked away.
Within a minute, I found the CD I needed. With my chest proudly sticking out, I went to the register to pay for it.
I don't think she could handle the suspense anymore, so she asked me, "What song were you looking for?"
My reply was, "I Don't Want to Get Adjusted."
I could tell that she had never heard of it. She probably thought it was a song about going to a chiropractor.
She then asked me for my phone number. My usual response to that question is, with a flirting smile, "What's yours?"
Since I had been a little hard on her, I just gave her my number.
Within seconds, she was able to tell everything about me. So much for remaining an anonymous obnoxious customer.
She was very sweet, and smiled throughout the whole encounter.
Although I never ask where something is in stores, there is one store that I do succumb to being totally clueless.
If I'm trying to find a part in George’s Hardware, I welcome anyone who looks my way.
It hurts, but one time a woman helped me.
I'm just thankful none of my friends saw it.
NEW CASTLE —
Shopping is not something I do a lot.
- Gary Church
Gary Church: Looks like happy trails for this old Bunny to hop
I've just learned that my 35-year career has suddenly come to an end. It was a little hard on me, hearing that my services were no longer needed. I thought being the Easter Bunny and hiding eggs was a life-long occupation.
Gary Church: Congratulations, grandma and grandpa — it’s a ... box?
I hate it when posts on Facebook have to be explained to me. When did everything change? I have a great-nephew, and every time he says something funny, I need an interpreter to get the joke. Last week, I hit an all-time low.
Gary Church: No knife, no wife and an unpeeled orange
Last weekend, I attended the Master Gardeners program at the old Ben Franklin school. I'll comment on the garden tips I learned in my weekly garden column. Today, I want to talk about the lunch at the program.
Gary Church: Get that weak stuff outta here, Malik!
I was excited when I heard the Ne-Ca-Hi boys basketball team was going to be at the New Castle News. It never entered my mind to stand in line and get an autograph. I just wanted to pop in and say "Hi."
Gary Church: My retirement dreams have gone up in flames
Probably sometime in your life, you have pictured what your retirement will be like. Visions of you sitting in your chair, wearing a cardigan sweater, with a pair of slippers on, smoking a pipe.
Gary Church: Did ’Canes just win? Or did my wife slip a disk?
I would like to congratulate the New Castle boys basketball team for winning the state championship. Since my wife and I don't have the best knees for climbing up bleacher steps, we no longer attend games.
Gary Church: I’ve always wanted to thank Frank for my sex education
When we're eating out, it is not unusual for me to strike up a conversation with some stranger. This happened last week at the Mahoning VFD fish dinner.
Gary Church: It’s hard to believe, but I used to have a devil of a time behaving in church
Recently, a friend of mine started a Facebook page about our former church. The members started reminiscing about their weddings, child dedications, baptisms, and other events they hold dear to their hearts.
Gary Church: Maybe I didn’t get into trouble, but I got the last lap
I try to attend the New Wilmington Business Expo each year. This year, it was a little different for me. I was asked by The News to take some photos while I was there.
Gary Church: I’m not Bugs Bunny, but I know my carats
You may wonder where the inspiration for my blogs comes from. Sometimes, I wonder that myself. Here is a great example of how it happens.
- More Gary Church Headlines
- Gary Church: Looks like happy trails for this old Bunny to hop