New Castle News

Gary Church

October 15, 2013

Gary Church: How do you kill a stink bug? With a clean shot!

NEW CASTLE — Some of you view the New Castle News only on the web.

You may have never read my weekly garden column in the print edition.

Last week, I was obsessed with single-handedly wiping out the stink bug population.

People keep asking, "How do I keep them out of the house?"

"Any way possible," would be my answer. One lady just called and said she boils four heads of garlic in water and sprays that around her doors.

I'm more interested in killing them.

They lay up to 30 eggs when they reproduce.

I figure if you just repel them, you aren't cutting down on the stink bug population.

If you kill one, that stops 30 stink bugs that you would have had next year.

I estimate that I have saved the world from 9,000 stink bugs next year.

My wife thinks I have gone off the deep end with my stink bug battle. I sit outside for hours on patrol.

My weapon of choice is a good spray bottle that will shoot 10 feet. I fill it with two-third cups of dawn, or any dish soap, to one quart of water.

Since I like to stay seated while shooting, I need the long range rifle effect of the spray bottle.

You will have to be really quick with your trigger finger while firing the spray.

I try to hit them six times in the belly before they realize what is happening.

This will smother them in less than a minute.

Their back is just like a bullet-proof vest. You have to aim for the gut.

They always seem to enjoy a nice walk after being hit with the soap.

I'm not sure why, but they turn over on their back when they pass on. They look cute that way.

One benefit of the soap spray is, if you carry a clean rag with you, you can wash down your entire house while killing the bugs.

The other day, one landed on a very large target — my belly.

You would not believe what happened while I was gently reaching for my spray bottle.

He tinkled on my shirt. I saw it pouring out of his posterior, in little droplets.

Perhaps he was trying to send me a message.

I washed the shirt immediately.

I don't care what you use — a shop vac, dropping them into a jar of soapy water, flushing them down the commode, or just tramping on them, they need to die.

If we stick together, we can cut down on the stink bug population and get our houses spic and span at the same time.

Remember, killing we stand, repelling we fall.


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Gary Church
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