New Castle News

January 10, 2014

Gary Church: Will I sample saurkraut? Not before I pass gas onto my friend

Gary Church
New Castle News

NEW CASTLE — We all have smells that are quite unpleasant to us.

Skunks, body odor, and rotten meat, just to name a few.

Sauerkraut has to rank among one of my top stinky smells.

Didn't Don Bowden, a gentleman we see at Chuck Tanner’s, deliver his handmade sauerkraut to my wife, so she could have it on New Year’s Day.

Since I am such a loving husband, I thought I would make the supreme sacrifice and put Vick’s under my nose so she could enjoy her sauerkraut.

I don't remember things very well, and I completely forgot all about it.

While I was eating my New Year’s dinner of ham, sweet potatoes, and corn, I remembered the sauerkraut.

I asked, "Why didn't you cook that yucky stuff?"

She said, "I did!"

When I looked at her plate, sure enough it was there, and no aroma at all.

This made me wonder: How was my mother able to cook sauerkraut, and stink up the whole house?

When I would walk in the door from school, and I was greeted by that putrid smell, I knew there was no supper for me that night.

I would have my usual sugar and butter sandwich.

Don really wanted me to try a sample of his homemade stuff, but I'm not quite ready for that yet.

Maybe on my deathbed, as my final meal.

My wife said his homemade sauerkraut was delicious.

I have no idea how the words sauerkraut and delicious can be used in the same sentence.

If you ever see Don, ask him for a jar, so he won't have any left to share with my wife.

At least I didn't have to have a sugar and butter sandwich for my New Year’s dinner.

Please remind me that I owe Mr. Bowden some beans and brussel sprouts, just for a little gas retaliation.