New Castle News

Gary Church

January 10, 2014

Gary Church: Will I sample saurkraut? Not before I pass gas onto my friend

NEW CASTLE — We all have smells that are quite unpleasant to us.

Skunks, body odor, and rotten meat, just to name a few.

Sauerkraut has to rank among one of my top stinky smells.

Didn't Don Bowden, a gentleman we see at Chuck Tanner’s, deliver his handmade sauerkraut to my wife, so she could have it on New Year’s Day.

Since I am such a loving husband, I thought I would make the supreme sacrifice and put Vick’s under my nose so she could enjoy her sauerkraut.

I don't remember things very well, and I completely forgot all about it.

While I was eating my New Year’s dinner of ham, sweet potatoes, and corn, I remembered the sauerkraut.

I asked, "Why didn't you cook that yucky stuff?"

She said, "I did!"

When I looked at her plate, sure enough it was there, and no aroma at all.

This made me wonder: How was my mother able to cook sauerkraut, and stink up the whole house?

When I would walk in the door from school, and I was greeted by that putrid smell, I knew there was no supper for me that night.

I would have my usual sugar and butter sandwich.

Don really wanted me to try a sample of his homemade stuff, but I'm not quite ready for that yet.

Maybe on my deathbed, as my final meal.

My wife said his homemade sauerkraut was delicious.

I have no idea how the words sauerkraut and delicious can be used in the same sentence.

If you ever see Don, ask him for a jar, so he won't have any left to share with my wife.

At least I didn't have to have a sugar and butter sandwich for my New Year’s dinner.

Please remind me that I owe Mr. Bowden some beans and brussel sprouts, just for a little gas retaliation.

 

1
Text Only | Photo Reprints
Gary Church
House Ads
Poll

Beginning tonight, the Pittsburgh Penguins will take on the Columbus Blue Jackets in the first round of the NHL playoffs. So, who ya got? And in how many games?

Penguins, in five games or fewer. Too much firepower for the Blue Jackets, especially if Evgeni Malkin is ready to go.
Penguins, in six or seven games. It’s a pretty even matchup on defense, but Pittsburgh will grind it out.
Blue Jackets, in five games or fewer. Sergei Bobrovsky in goal for the Blue Jackets spells trouble for the Pens.
Blue Jackets, in six or seven games. Bobrovsky gives Columbus the edge, but it won’t be easy.
     View Results